Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
October 31, 2024, 09:28:57 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
204
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: "We've had this converation a million times... "  (Read 404 times)
BacknthSaddle
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 474


« on: April 21, 2014, 03:07:13 PM »

I wanted to see if any of you have had this experience.  I am NC with my uBPDxgf (had a relapse recently, but feeling more confident about my ability to maintain now), and during the conversation, I foolishly brought up something about the nature of our relationship, how serious she was, etc.  This time, and when I had done that in the past, after saying something hurtful she will then say "I feel like we have had this conversation a million times."  The truth is that we have, but 1/2 the time I get one response and 1/2 the time I get its exact opposite. 

I know it's foolish to get into these conversations in the first place, which is why I'm not going to anymore.  But I wanted to know if this or anything similar was an experience people shared, having a discussion repeatedly and getting a different answer each time, but then being treated like the whole thing was settled and you're crazy for bringing it up. 
Logged
Waifed
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1026



« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2014, 03:38:29 PM »

I usually got one of three different responses. 1. "I don't want to talk about this right now". 2. "I'm tired of fighting". I don't want to talk about this anymore. 3. "You're making me mad.

When I confronted her about cheating she said "Well you were f%cking xxxxx".  This is someone I was with prior to even dating her. No logic whatsoever.

She really wasn't capable of having a grown up "debate" so I pretty much stopped trying. It was much worse when she was dysregulated. I wish I had known about BPD while we were dating.
Logged
Want2know
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2934



WWW
« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2014, 06:58:30 PM »

I know it's foolish to get into these conversations in the first place, which is why I'm not going to anymore.   

Smart idea.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

Being this is a disorder that is based in having problems with regulating emotions and thoughts, as well as being impulsive, it's not surprising that there was a lack of consistency in her responses.


Logged

“The path to heaven doesn't lie down in flat miles. It's in the imagination with which you perceive this world, and the gestures with which you honor it." ~ Mary Oliver
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!