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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: "We've had this converation a million times... "  (Read 345 times)
BacknthSaddle
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 474


« on: April 21, 2014, 03:07:13 PM »

I wanted to see if any of you have had this experience.  I am NC with my uBPDxgf (had a relapse recently, but feeling more confident about my ability to maintain now), and during the conversation, I foolishly brought up something about the nature of our relationship, how serious she was, etc.  This time, and when I had done that in the past, after saying something hurtful she will then say "I feel like we have had this conversation a million times."  The truth is that we have, but 1/2 the time I get one response and 1/2 the time I get its exact opposite. 

I know it's foolish to get into these conversations in the first place, which is why I'm not going to anymore.  But I wanted to know if this or anything similar was an experience people shared, having a discussion repeatedly and getting a different answer each time, but then being treated like the whole thing was settled and you're crazy for bringing it up. 
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Waifed
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1026



« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2014, 03:38:29 PM »

I usually got one of three different responses. 1. "I don't want to talk about this right now". 2. "I'm tired of fighting". I don't want to talk about this anymore. 3. "You're making me mad.

When I confronted her about cheating she said "Well you were f%cking xxxxx".  This is someone I was with prior to even dating her. No logic whatsoever.

She really wasn't capable of having a grown up "debate" so I pretty much stopped trying. It was much worse when she was dysregulated. I wish I had known about BPD while we were dating.
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Want2know
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Gender: Female
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2014, 06:58:30 PM »

I know it's foolish to get into these conversations in the first place, which is why I'm not going to anymore.   

Smart idea.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

Being this is a disorder that is based in having problems with regulating emotions and thoughts, as well as being impulsive, it's not surprising that there was a lack of consistency in her responses.


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