UPDATE
Didn't hear from him by 9pm last night so I went to bed. I physically moved myself and the kiddos to our new place and helped ex move his stuff into storage this week... . while working full time. I'm exhausted. My 7yr old was at a sleepover and the 10yr old was already in bed so I took advantage of the quiet.
I hear a facebook message pop up about 9:30pm, I ignored it because I was almost asleep. Then the phone rings. And rings. I answer it. It's ex. First thing out of his mouth is "Are you picking up me and my stuff tomorrow? I have to be out by noon" So I ask him where I'm taking the stuff too and he says "You're a heartless b___, I'm homeless" I hang up. He calls back, I answered letting him know if he's calling me names I will end the call. He says he's sorry he called me names, but I keep pushing the buttons of a sick man and should know better because he's going through a lot right now. (because my life is rainbows and sunshine at the moment, right?)
I forget how the rest of the conversation goes, but he ends up hanging up on me because I wasn't offering to let him stay here with us.
I facebooked him that I was going back to bed and that he can let me know what his plans are via facebook if he wants to see the kids.
I woke up this morning to a slew of messages from him, accusing me of ignoring him because I know it will make him mad (he knew I was going back to bed). There are about 5 messages, going on and on about how evil I am, how I've taken everything away, and the kicker was this last part that basically embodies his BPD to a Tee: "You will never find anyone that loves you as much as I do. If you would learn not to react to me, we could live happily ever after"
I read that statement as "If you would just deal with the verbal abuse, we'd be fine"
The kids want to see him today, which would be a normal visit day for him. The plan was for him to come here to my new place and hang with the kids and I'd leave for a few hours. I don't want them at the motel, it's pretty seedy and ex agrees with that.
So I survived telling him No to staying here. His mom will pay for one more night, as he goes to see a place tomorrow and could potentially move in on Tuesday. He hasn't mentioned if he has any money left for anything, nor did I ask because I have nothing to give him (nor should I have to, I'm supporting 3 people off almost the same amount of money that he gets and somehow I'm able to cover our needs but he can't cover his)
I knew that this would ramp up once he was actually away from us. I'm constantly on edge the past few days. The first few nights here were absolute bliss. Then he unexpectedly showed up at my door step, asking to see the kids. This building is supposed to be secure access but someone propped open the side door and ex got in without buzzing me. So now my peaceful oasis is not as secure as I thought it would be. I just want him to go away. But I'll always be tied to him via the children.
Speaking of the children, he's more concerned about talking to me than to them. That makes me very sad on one hand, but if they can stay out of the drama, all the better for them. This is ALL for them and I'll be damned if ex will derail that for them. Ex did that for too many years. Now it's time to keep my power, no matter how much that pisses ex off.
Please think good thoughts for me this week. I called my T and left her a message yesterday. She's terrific, a lot of times if she can't squeeze me in she will call me either after hours or on her lunch hour and talk me through something. I need to get my head on straight so I can successfully work this week (I work with people with disabilities, they need me present while I'm with them).
I'm so mad at myself for allowing this situation to get to this point. But then again, maybe I've just been a passenger in my own life for too long... . I'm now in the driver seat.