Can i Now Finnally Say "I'm Free" ?

[Willingtolearn]

ExBPDgf and i have now been apart for 2 years exactly.  During that time i have remained 100% NC. During this time, i have been receiving numerous "silent hang up calls"  sometimes as many as 10 per month. I have not responded to any of them. i am convinced that they where being done by her.

However, i have now had two months without a single silent hang up call.

Can i now finally say " She has now gone for ever, and will never return" ? 

[talithacumi]

You may not get anymore silent anonymous phonecalls that leave you wondering/believing she's still interested in/trying to make contact with you ... .

But ... .

So long as you still notice you're not getting those calls - in your awareness of her absence from your life - she's still there/still taking up space in your head.

Not being judgemental or anything here, willingtolearn - I'm 3+ years out/1+ year NC with absolutely no effort being made by him to contact me at all during that time - and I am still very much aware of his absence from my life/still know he's there taking up space in my head.

Really sad/disturbing how profoundly and deeply they effect us so that they remain as much of a consideration/issue in their absence as they did when they were actually present with/for us.

I'm not sure if that awareness will ever truly go away. All it seems to do with time/effort is get less painful/intrusive, and easier/more comfortable for me to live with.

Radical acceptance. Of them/their emotional reality. Of me/mine.

She can't free you, man. You can only free yourself.

If you ever figure out how to do that, lemme know - promise I'll do the same for you if I figure it out myself first.

All the best,

TC

[AwakenedOne]

BPD = Who knows what they will ever do or not do.

I hope she leaves you alone so you can have peace though.

Your phone doesn't have caller ID ?

[OnceConfused]

Freedom here is a state of mind. WE will never be free from anybody who has entered our life, it is just that with time the other person or thing is no longer the 1st thing that pops into our mind.

Every so often, I still think of the xBPDgf, just like I though of the other gfs in my life. But now my thought of her last only about 1 sec.