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[max101]

Hi folks,

I have not been here for a while, I dedicated my life to my great job, family and friends, it has been hard but I felt like I was moving forward. That was until moments ago I discovered through Facebook that my ex BPD gf is now engaged to a guy 5 months after breaking up with me. I wouldnt even know this if it was not for her brother celebrating on Facebook that his sister is engaged.

The problem I am having is understanding how someone who "loved" me for 3,5 years dumps me ( i know I dodged a bullet) and then immediately finds a new guy and gets engaged.

How do they do this, do they not grieve for somebody how loved them as much as I did. Do they give the slightest ___ that we postpone our lives and dedicate our time to make them happy?

I have never been this angry and confused, did I mean anything at all, is there a chance she ever cared? It has been 5 months and I feel uncomfortable dating, even felt guilt for kissing a girl during a dat a she is engaged to the new guy.

I am sorry for this rant, I am traveling back to my city alone after a family vacation and need to get this out of my system.

Are these post-break up engagements common with BPD, especially so quickly?

I need to now so I can start feeling human.

I hate this disease, I hate my self for wasting 3,5 years of my life on someone who forgot me like a piece of trash!

The anger is so overwhelming

[rg1976]

This is terrible. I'm sorry you are going through this.

It's always about them. She may have loved you, but she probably took steps to distance herself from you long ago, so it wasn't only 5 months for her.

Also remember the love that you shared with her couldn't be returned in kind. It is very sad.

[KeepOnGoing]

I'm so sorry you are going thru this. I feel your pain, anger, and despair.

As someone in another current thread stated: "When fully triggered a pwBPD is a Zombie who needs to feed on other people.  It's a relationship Disorder.  So the Zombie/Disorder needs participants."

I'm glad you are feeling your anger, and more relieved that you are ranting here rather than acting out at your ex. That could really, really backfire.

Hang in there. You'll get past this. Keep sharing about it. Lots of support and answers here.

[AwakenedOne]

Do they give the slightest ___ that we postpone our lives and dedicate our time to make them happy?

Sorry you heard the news about her. It might give you a bit more closure though. Now when you date a new girl you won't feel guilty anymore.

I think it is really impossible to make them happy. I tried 4 years and was disposed of by my wife into the trash. Weird thing is I think the more we try, the less they respect us.