Anxiety

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So, I posted about a week ago I think saying my BPDex called and left a voicemail and it was possibly an accident. I was doing well not really thinking too much about her and moving forward until that. I have still maintained no contact, and I think it's been almost two months since we broke up.

I've noticed since her 'accidental' call she's been non-stop on my mind and I think it may be the reason behind my experiencing this sort of constant underlying anxiety.

Is it normal to experience some anxiety after separating from your ex? What can I do to get rid of this anxious feeling? Any input would be appreciated.

[blindjoe]

So, I posted about a week ago I think saying my BPDex called and left a voicemail and it was possibly an accident. I was doing well not really thinking too much about her and moving forward until that. I have still maintained no contact, and I think it's been almost two months since we broke up.

I've noticed since her 'accidental' call she's been non-stop on my mind and I think it may be the reason behind my experiencing this sort of constant underlying anxiety.

Is it normal to experience some anxiety after separating from your ex? What can I do to get rid of this anxious feeling? Any input would be appreciated.

[seeking balance]

Is it normal to experience some anxiety after separating from your ex? What can I do to get rid of this anxious feeling? Any input would be appreciated.

Absolutely this is common in these break ups.  We are so used to walking on eggshells that it takes time to get used to calm.

I found exercise, reading, meditation and learning new things helpful.  It also helped when I simply accepted I may feel this way for a while and push the thought to the side rather than focus on it.

Therapy helps too... .do you have a T?

[Loveofhislife]

Today, I was with my new T after experiencing A LOT OF ANXIETY. This may sound silly to some, but after she explained that my bfBPDex is a sociopath (anxiety producing in and of itself)--that it is a past of me (the little girl) is the one who is so anxious about his silent treatment and desertion. I've been told before that I needed to take care of my inner child to become more resilient against NPD/BPD predators. So today, T gave me a small stuffed animal dog who is "little me" that "big me" needs to hold and comfort when I feel anxiety. Somehow, it seems to be helping.

[biglearningcurve]

In my experience it is very normal 

I have tried exercise, good nutrition, reading this site a lot and deep breathing have helped me.

Good luck

[Infared]

Is it normal to experience some anxiety after separating from your ex? What can I do to get rid of this anxious feeling? Any input would be appreciated.

Absolutely this is common in these break ups.  We are so used to walking on eggshells that it takes time to get used to calm.

I found exercise, reading, meditation and learning new things helpful.  It also helped when I simply accepted I may feel this way for a while and push the thought to the side rather than focus on it.

Therapy helps too... .do you have a T?

BlindJoe, I agree with everything seeking balance says above... .it all helps.

I never had anxiety in my life like that. I started having panic attacks and did not know what they were? I think it normal when we have such profound separation from this unhealthy, intense bond... .at least that is my experience.

[patientandclear]

Yes it's very common.  For some it may be, as SB says, that it's hard to adjust to calm after chaos.  But I think there is more of a traumatic element to the anxiety for many of us.  Contact from this person triggers association with intense pain. Because we are addicted/trauma bonded to them it is very hard to just shut the idea of connection with them out of our minds.  Both the loss of them and contact with them have caused intense pain, and we have the choice of one or the other -- of course our bodies are going to react in fear.

This doesn't make it go away, but I hope knowing how common it is at least makes you not worry about yourself.  Your reaction makes complete sense.