Hi ! I am so happy to know this forum. I learnt a lot from your posts and I’d like to write down my own story, because I need advices.
I’ m not a fluent english speaker, so I hope you can understand.
I started a relationship with a BPD in 2011. At first I didn’t know about his problems, but he seemed depressed and I wanted to help him. I never saw him ; everything was on the Internet. But believe me, it was awful. I knew there were something wrong, but I was so manipulated ! I didn’t even know about BPD disease. Ten months later, I found the strength to leave him. I still don’t know where I found this strength, because I wasn’t myself anymore. It was very hard, he didn’t let me go. But since he always cheated on me, he stayed with his other girlfriend for a while. He came back a few months after the breakup, acting like nothing happened. I felt much better and I allowed him to talk to me a little, but he didn’t want to understand it was over. He texted me way too much, but I lived with that. Sometimes he went crazy because I didn’t answer, but I though he would get tired of doing that and leave me alone.
1 year and a half after the breakup, it was the worst part of my life. For a month, he harassed me with phones calls and messages. Sometimes he threaten me and sometimes he begged me to answer because he couldn’t live without me. It was the worst thing I ever lived. I went to a therapist because of stress he caused me. The therapist told me not to worry. He told me I just had to change my phone number, delete my social medias accounts, and wait until he finds a new prey.
I never though it could work, but it did. This plan was a success : my ex left me alone for one year.
But 6 months ago (2 years and a half after the breakup) he sent me an email, full of contraries. He said he was sorry for his behavior (the harassment), that I was a wonderful person who deserve to be happy. He said he moved on (YAYY!). But he also said he was till thinking of me and could never stop.
I didn’t answer, because I didn’t want to let an « open door » for him to reach me again.
A couple weeks ago, someone told me he had a new girlfriend ! I was so happy, telling me I’ll never have to hear from him again. But now I know he already was with this girlfriend when he sent me the email.
I just don’t know what to think. Since the breakup, I never dated again. I really wanted to, but I was too afraid of the behavior of my ex. In my city, a man killed his ex-wife because she left him. And since 3 years, I’m afraid of dying. I don’t know if he is dangerous, but I know he is obsessive. When I saw photos of him and his new girlfriend, I was the happiest girl on earth. I thought he forgot about me. But I know he won’t heal (he denies to be a BPD), and I wonder if I am really free today.
My family and friends tell me not to worry. But I know you could help me better, because we lived the same thing.
I hope my english was good enough. Have a good day everyone and thank you
