Setting myself up for more heartache...

[Recooperating]

Tomorrow was supposed to be our wedding day. I've been struggling the last couple of days with pain, hurt and sorrow. Then today he initiated contact by mail (new adress). I had sent him an email with taking responsibility of my part of the dysfunction some time ago. Now he send me this... .FYI i left him after yet another rage. He was diagnosed BPD, now he says his shrink undiagnosed him... .

As far as how I feel about you. I let go of the anger. I let go of the rage. I let go of you. I love you and I do hope that we are able to talk.

I sincerely take responsibility of my part in it all.

The man that will forever love you,

I answered that I will take his call tomorrow, but I dont want to continu the rs. Setting myself up for yet another heartache ofcourse... .I really dont see how this mess will work after calling off a wedding, cheating, yelling and raging. I will hear what he has to say and what that responsibility means exactly... .A trick? Manipulation? Pulling me back in?

Why do I keep doing this?

[Mutt]

That's heartbreaking to hear Recooperating and I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you. It has to be incredibly tough if your wedding day was tomorrow.

I really dont see how this mess will work after calling off a wedding, cheating, yelling and raging.

Follow your intuition.

Why do I keep doing this?

Please don't be hard on yourself  This pulls at the heartstrings with the timing? This is deliberate.

You gave him a new email address and explained your side. That's a noble thing to do right?

Fall down 7 times get up 8. Detachment leads to freedom.  Block him from your new email address.


Take the time to heal in no contact, then figure out the why. Be extra kind to yourself   It's difficult when an anniversary looms. I'm so sorry.


Hang in there.


- Mutt

[Tibbles]

When I read the line about taking "responsibility of my part in it all" I felt red flags going off there for you. That's a line I often heard and his definition and my definition of things was somewhat different! Be careful, I am feeling concerned for you especially with the anniversary coming up as that will make things more emotional for you. Sending lots of care and hugs your way during this difficult time. x x