"The Psychology of Winning"

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I wanted to pass on a quote from "The Psychology of Winning," by Dr. Denis Waitley.

As I have stated on here, I have been reading self-improvement literature for years.  I want a better life.  Only now, I really want a better life for me.

I have been battling many demons that have returned to me suddenly in my life.  I will go into some detail here about that.

My dad was a bully.  He belittled me constantly.  My mom was just plain mean.

My dad made fun of me.  He made fun of how I looked.  He made fun of my physique.  And he constantly told me that I had no common sense.

I hated my childhood.

My whole life has been a long distance sprint from my childhood.

For the last 4 years my new boss has been just like my dad.  He makes fun of me.  He belittles my efforts.  I have flashbacks from my childhood when I am with him.

I feel very beaten down from this.

Add this onto my marriage problems, sick parents, and some of my own health related problems.  It has been a struggle over recent years. 

So, I am doubling down on myself.  I am trying to pull myself out of this.  I am reading everything I can get my hands on.  I am trying to make time to jog with my kids.  I am meditating and focusing on my heart to learn how to express my emotions.  Lastly, I am trying to be self-directed for the first time in my life.

So, I am reading like 7 books at one time.  They are positive self-motivating books.   

Tonight, I sat down to read a bit from "The Psychology of Winning."  It has probably the best foreward of any book I have read.  It is simple and to the point.

I read the quote tonight that stood out to me.  It is as follows:

"Put yourself together.  Play it as you see it.  But play to win!"

"It's no scrimmage or practice game.  It's your super bowl everyday!"

This is absolutely correct!  I have been dwelling on the past.  I have been punishing myself for my mistakes.  I have been letting my wife punish me for my mistakes!  This has to end now. 

As a buddy of mine said jokingly the other day about nothing, "grow some balls!"

He was absolutely right!

It's time to grow some balls and live the life I want!

All of you should consider this too!

Everyday is our super bowl!

Everyday we dwell on the misery that our BPDs (there are always more than one for us) have caused us is another day we lose the big game. 

Let's heal ourselves and win!

I know that a certain amount of reflection is needed to overcome the impact of these people in our lives.  We want to avoid these situations in our future.

I think that if we make a plan for our lives, and refuse to let other people alter them, that we will find our way out of this.

We need to stand strong, stand firm, set good boundaries, and be true to ourselves.

[workinprogress]

I wanted to pass on a quote from "The Psychology of Winning," by Dr. Denis Waitley.

As I have stated on here, I have been reading self-improvement literature for years.  I want a better life.  Only now, I really want a better life for me.

I have been battling many demons that have returned to me suddenly in my life.  I will go into some detail here about that.

My dad was a bully.  He belittled me constantly.  My mom was just plain mean.

My dad made fun of me.  He made fun of how I looked.  He made fun of my physique.  And he constantly told me that I had no common sense.

I hated my childhood.

My whole life has been a long distance sprint from my childhood.

For the last 4 years my new boss has been just like my dad.  He makes fun of me.  He belittles my efforts.  I have flashbacks from my childhood when I am with him.

I feel very beaten down from this.

Add this onto my marriage problems, sick parents, and some of my own health related problems.  It has been a struggle over recent years. 

So, I am doubling down on myself.  I am trying to pull myself out of this.  I am reading everything I can get my hands on.  I am trying to make time to jog with my kids.  I am meditating and focusing on my heart to learn how to express my emotions.  Lastly, I am trying to be self-directed for the first time in my life.

So, I am reading like 7 books at one time.  They are positive self-motivating books.   

Tonight, I sat down to read a bit from "The Psychology of Winning."  It has probably the best foreward of any book I have read.  It is simple and to the point.

I read the quote tonight that stood out to me.  It is as follows:

"Put yourself together.  Play it as you see it.  But play to win!"

"It's no scrimmage or practice game.  It's your super bowl everyday!"

This is absolutely correct!  I have been dwelling on the past.  I have been punishing myself for my mistakes.  I have been letting my wife punish me for my mistakes!  This has to end now. 

As a buddy of mine said jokingly the other day about nothing, "grow some balls!"

He was absolutely right!

It's time to grow some balls and live the life I want!

All of you should consider this too!

Everyday is our super bowl!

Everyday we dwell on the misery that our BPDs (there are always more than one for us) have caused us is another day we lose the big game. 

Let's heal ourselves and win!

I know that a certain amount of reflection is needed to overcome the impact of these people in our lives.  We want to avoid these situations in our future.

I think that if we make a plan for our lives, and refuse to let other people alter them, that we will find our way out of this.

We need to stand strong, stand firm, set good boundaries, and be true to ourselves.

[workinprogress]

I hope this thread helps a few people.

I want to add a couple of thoughts.

Everybody is playing a different game.  Their super bowl is different.

For some, the super bowl means being able to take a chance and love again.

For others, it is about getting a job.

For some, it may be about going to bed and feeling content and safe for the first time in their lives.

Whatever your super bowl may be, focus on it.  You can win this battle!

Make your life and yourself a priority!

[Cumulus]

Hi work in progress, you sound like a highly motivated person. I agree with the premise that every day should be lived to our best. Living every day as if it was the Super Bowl just plain makes me feel weary though. Depending on the day we may be presented with issues that bring us joy, disappointment, fear, happiness, you get the picture. Some days are going to be great Super Bowl days, others will just plain suck! Some days you will have a lot of energy, others you will feel tired. I just don't want to create a need within me to be up all the time. That can go by another name, perfectionism.


Whatever your super bowl may be, focus on it.  You can win this battle!

Make your life and yourself a priority![/quote]
For someone like myself who lived my life to please and to attempt to create happiness for others  this is important. To understand I am not being selfish caring for my needs first. In learning to understand myself and my needs I am better equipped to deal with whatever kind of day comes my way. To enjoy the day filled with happiness, to be effective in dealing with relationship problems, to identify what the fear is and address it.

Thanks for this post. Cumulus.

[Moselle]

"Put yourself together.  Play it as you see it.  But play to win!"

I like this... .ALOT

Sorry to hear about the difficulties in your childhood. It must be difficult to carry those consequences with you.

I like your attitude towards it though. We do own it.

Tomorrow I will put myself together, play it as I see it, and play to win.

Thanks for sharing!