She contacted me with spam of text

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

So my exBPDgf communicated with me with spam texts that her life is now wonderful and great.  She said she can't believe we got together so many times and was so afraid of letting me go, but now that I'm out of her life the darkness is gone.  Her life was like how it was before she met me and it's perfect again.  Everything is working out.  She's laughing, meeting new people, everything is working out great.  She found a new T and doctor.  Then she went on how she had sex with new people and it was wonderful.  She really spent a lot of time in the sex part of it.  When I met her she said she's a lesbian, now she says she's bisexual.

She went on to tell me how sad I am as a person.  That I'm pessimistic, I never wanted to do anything, afraid of having fun and trying out new things.  She said she hope I meet a similar couch potato who likes to just eat and sit on the couch.  Then made a LOL and said that would be funny.

It seems like her life is getting back together.  Everything seems to be working out.  But why now?  Did I make her life miserable that it stopped her from working on issues with her life?  Why all of a sudden all the problems that were present in our relationship has gone away?

I tried not to let it get to me, but it hurts.  It makes me feel like I was the one who made her life bad and she was the way she was, depressed, aggressive because of me.

Why is she texting me all this?  It's none of my business!   

[yaryu]

So my exBPDgf communicated with me with spam texts that her life is now wonderful and great.  She said she can't believe we got together so many times and was so afraid of letting me go, but now that I'm out of her life the darkness is gone.  Her life was like how it was before she met me and it's perfect again.  Everything is working out.  She's laughing, meeting new people, everything is working out great.  She found a new T and doctor.  Then she went on how she had sex with new people and it was wonderful.  She really spent a lot of time in the sex part of it.  When I met her she said she's a lesbian, now she says she's bisexual.

She went on to tell me how sad I am as a person.  That I'm pessimistic, I never wanted to do anything, afraid of having fun and trying out new things.  She said she hope I meet a similar couch potato who likes to just eat and sit on the couch.  Then made a LOL and said that would be funny.

It seems like her life is getting back together.  Everything seems to be working out.  But why now?  Did I make her life miserable that it stopped her from working on issues with her life?  Why all of a sudden all the problems that were present in our relationship has gone away?

I tried not to let it get to me, but it hurts.  It makes me feel like I was the one who made her life bad and she was the way she was, depressed, aggressive because of me.

Why is she texting me all this?  It's none of my business!   

[Algae]

Sounds to me like she's trying to make you jealous or she's doing it for attention.  Mines done that to me a bunch of times after the 7 times shes split.  I'm like, "Why even text me again if you already told me to go away?"

She's just trying to get rise out of you.  Thing is... if her life was REALLY that great, then she wouldnt even be bothering to text you or even worry about you.  She's depressed deep down imo, and her life isn't together at all.  She may be sleeping with a bunch of people but I feel like its all jst to hide the pain shes in.  She's in denial.

If u respond, which I wouldnt if i were you... Don't argue or anything.  Just be like, " ok good for you? bye? xD"

Attention ___s.

[Infared]

"Why is she texting me all this?  It's none of my business!"

I think that the better question here is why are you reading it? 

Take care of you... .Block all of that nonsense. pwBPD beat others down to make themselves feel good.  Please try to take care of you and not feed into her abuse of you. Please love you. I know that that is difficult as you are hurt and in pain... .but you can work past this with her out of your life. Further contact will just be abuse. Hard to believe... .but so true. We have all suffered through this.

I agree with everything Algae says, too.

[Algae]

"Why is she texting me all this?  It's none of my business!"

I think that the better question here is why are you reading it? 

Take care of you... .Block all of that nonsense. pwBPD beat others down to make themselves feel good.  Please try to take care of you and not feed into her abuse of you. Please love you. I know that that is difficult as you are hurt and in pain... .but you can work past this with her out of your life. Further contact will just be abuse. Hard to believe... .but so true. We have all suffered through this.

I agree with everything Algae says, too.

Well... in his defense, it's a lot harder than people think than to just simple 'block and forget'.  I mean we were in a relationship with these people.  The last thing we want to hear is "Block and forget."

I do agree with you however that we do need to work on ourselves.

But Being in his same situation along with many people here, theres a weird sense of gradification knowing that theyre in pain and need you back... even though we're not going to respond.  It makes all the pain we went through and they put us through finally at ease... like a little revenge.  "Oh they need us back?  HAHAHA"

I know it sounds evil, but Theres a weird sense of wanting them to be miserable, and wanting to see them crawl back just so we can say no.

[Infared]

I didn't say to forget... .hell I will never forget what I went through... .but I did protect myself from continued abuse.

I did not get any gratification of my ex being in pain except one incident where I was just soo fed up with her hurtful behavior.  She had run off with new supply and would rub this in my face whenever possible. Very immature. Very painful for me.

I just saw her as an extremely sick person and was not looking for vengeance or getting even.  Then I am as sick and immature as her/them. Right?

I got into therapy and worked at healing and taking the higher road. Being a good person that I could love. It was all that I had left... .a decent me.

It was not easy... .the pain was brutal.

[yaryu]

I'm fresh on the painted black block.  Never in this position before.  Honestly, this is the first time she has ever done this to me.  We have done that recycling push-pull dance for a long time now.  She normally text me to tell me she misses me.  I must have triggered her when she saw me yesterday at my apartment.  I hope this is not going to be a frequent occurrance.  I'm in a phase that I still want her back, but I don't, if that makes any sense. I hate the flaming and sad it ended up this way, but still love the girl.  

[Algae]

I'm fresh on the painted black block.  Never in this position before.  Honestly, this is the first time she has ever done this to me.  We have done that recycling push-pull dance for a long time now.  She normally text me to tell me she misses me.  I must have triggered her when she saw me yesterday at my apartment.  I hope this is not going to be a frequent occurrance.  I'm in a phase that I still want her back, but I don't, if that makes any sense. I hate the flaming and sad it ended up this way, but still love the girl.  

If she was REALLY over you... she wouldnt of msged u.  Give it time.

[drummerboy]

You are obviously still very much on her mind, if you were not she wouldn't be in any sort of contact with you. I wouldn't reply and I would also 100% block her. Life goes on, with normal people.

[enlighten me]

She's hurting and she wants to hurt you. Its typical playground tactics.

As for the reason she is hurting who knows. It could be because she knows she messed up and is lashing out hoping for you to save her or even show her that you miss her.

[Aussie0zborn]

She is abusing you. Do you really think that her life is perfect now that you're not in it? It's the same it was before she met you, while she was with you and as it will be after you. They can't change... .they just go from one relationship to another doing the same things. Reach inside and find your self respect and put a stop to her abuse.

Read around the forum a bit to see where you're at in this horrible dance that you are still doing. Then, when you're ready,  take the next step ie: "No Contact" and you wont have these issues or self-doubt. They thrive on causing you self-doubt so as to crush your spirit - don't let her do it.

[pieceofme]

I'm like, "Why even text me again if you already told me to go away?"

i've told my ex this probably a million times by now 

i also agree with infared about all further contact being abuse. i'm experiencing that now. every time my ex reaches out to me, it's only to verbally and emotionally abuse me... .at all times unprovoked.

[Waifed]

Tell her to stop harassing you or you will contact the authorities.

[Pingo]

Hi Yaryu, I can see my ex doing the exact same thing.  And for me, I would believe it is his way of punishing me, trying to make himself feel better for the absolutely dreadful behaviour, trying to convince himself in the process that he is the 'winner'.  It's all about the façade.  I agree it is abusive and I also agree to block it if you can.  I put an app on my phone to block his texts and he gets a text back saying he's blocked.  Even though he hasn't tried to text me since I downloaded it, it is reassuring to me to have a little control of me.

[Pou]

So my exBPDgf communicated with me with spam texts that her life is now wonderful and great.  She said she can't believe we got together so many times and was so afraid of letting me go, but now that I'm out of her life the darkness is gone.  Her life was like how it was before she met me and it's perfect again.  Everything is working out.  She's laughing, meeting new people, everything is working out great.  She found a new T and doctor.  Then she went on how she had sex with new people and it was wonderful.  She really spent a lot of time in the sex part of it.  When I met her she said she's a lesbian, now she says she's bisexual.

She went on to tell me how sad I am as a person.  That I'm pessimistic, I never wanted to do anything, afraid of having fun and trying out new things.  She said she hope I meet a similar couch potato who likes to just eat and sit on the couch.  Then made a LOL and said that would be funny.

It seems like her life is getting back together.  Everything seems to be working out.  But why now?  :)id I make her life miserable that it stopped her from working on issues with her life?  Why all of a sudden all the problems that were present in our relationship has gone away?

I tried not to let it get to me, but it hurts.  It makes me feel like I was the one who made her life bad and she was the way she was, depressed, aggressive because of me.

Why is she texting me all this?  It's none of my business!  

Yaryu, this is my view… I think your ex is essentially emotionally bullying you.  She is trying to come up with a scenario with details that she knows will push your buttons.  Are they facts or not, who knows?  The important thing for you is to realize that PDs are so delusional and if she wants to hurt you, she will make up anything just to push your buttons.  This includes telling  you her deviant sexual behaviors, she tells you all those things just try to get you jealous and angry … because she thinks that you still care.  Also, she wants to make you feel like you are a horrible person that was responsible for all her miseries.  To be honest, I don't think anyone can make a happy person miserable, unless you lock him or her up in a cage.  A happy person will always see glass half full.  A miserable person will always see the empty half of the glass.  My point is that no one can cause misery to another in a relationship until we are talking about kidnapping here or dealing with a PD here.  If she was so miserable when she was with you, trust me, she wouldn't have text you a single time after she left.  So that means, she had a great time with you and now she is miserable and she want to invoke your jealousy to contact her and have you prove to her how you have changed and can make her life great…. blah, blah… it is a trap set up by a bully.  If your intent is have her stop texting you, ignoring her text may not work … what about try this?  Text her back a generic response, copy and paste it every time she sends you a text… "Thank you for letting me know that you are doing well.  I am doing well too.  I hope you continue to find happiness in your relationships.  Although in very different ways, I am glad that we both are happy.  Cheers."  You keep sending this back as soon as she text you, she will realize that you really don't read her stuff because the response is so quick.  As oppose to ignoring the texts can be interpreted as you are soaking everything in.  Just my 2cents.  Good luck and don't listen to her BS.

[yaryu]

Ya'll are right.  I don't need this BS from her and it's time to bail out of this situation.  We're avoiding each other now.  She has painted me black so I know my presence this close to her apartment triggers her to dump the hate on to me.  I'll be moving my stuff out of my apartment next month so thankfully I'll never see her again.  I hope I never hear from her again either.  I'm in the process of securing a T and focus on myself.

Thanks for all the support and the responses.  I know there will be days when I'll be lonely, but if push comes to shove, I'll force myself to realize I don't even want this type of person in my life, even if she's nice to me again.  She has every right to do whatever the heck she wants with her life and as far as I'm concerned it shouldn't ever impact my life in any way shape or form.

So that's my mental thought for the time being.  However long I keep this train of thought, who knows, but it's time I let her go.                                                                                                                   

[Infared]

Yaryu ... .I think we gave you a little tough love here... .but I for one get upset when I see someone being outright mean to someone else. When you really care about someone and in the end this is how you are treated it is upsetting and baffling... .but boy does it hurt emotionally.  ... .the only way to stop the pain and heal is to have no interaction with that person... in my experience they will continue with this mentally ill behavior.

I guess the other person must really not like themselves very much if they feel the need to ridicule someone who cares for them. If I turn the tables around, I could not treat someone that way, especially someone that I really shared myself with.

We are all rooting for you to focus on the healing process, and to take care of and love you... .