Why do I hate his ex more than I hate him

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So in a short space, we are talking months here, he went from leaving his ex to be with me then broke up with me to be with replacement, then left replacement and tried with me ( I didn't take him) to being back with the ex. Now the ex is splashing her social media with old pics of them both and proclaiming undying love.

Now, let me tell you, I feel nothing for the guy. This was proved to me after I met with him again when he was trying to work things out with me. I realised back then that he wasn't for me and I what's more I realised I didn't love him anymore.

However I feel a lot of hate for his ex. For me she's the devil incarnated and I feel disgusted just by looking at her ugly face. Never in my life I felt so much anger and hate towards someone. Its scary how much I hate this woman.

I know its likewise. She hates me too and I know the msgs on her facebook are directed at me. She's so stupid she keeps posting these crap and he doesn't even participate he doesn't even "like" the pics cos deep down he's embarassed to be with her. He's told me he used to be embarassed by the way she looked and dressed and acted and was with her only because they have kids together.

I just wish I could erase the scalies off my mind!  

[Dolly rocker]

So in a short space, we are talking months here, he went from leaving his ex to be with me then broke up with me to be with replacement, then left replacement and tried with me ( I didn't take him) to being back with the ex. Now the ex is splashing her social media with old pics of them both and proclaiming undying love.

Now, let me tell you, I feel nothing for the guy. This was proved to me after I met with him again when he was trying to work things out with me. I realised back then that he wasn't for me and I what's more I realised I didn't love him anymore.

However I feel a lot of hate for his ex. For me she's the devil incarnated and I feel disgusted just by looking at her ugly face. Never in my life I felt so much anger and hate towards someone. Its scary how much I hate this woman.

I know its likewise. She hates me too and I know the msgs on her facebook are directed at me. She's so stupid she keeps posting these crap and he doesn't even participate he doesn't even "like" the pics cos deep down he's embarassed to be with her. He's told me he used to be embarassed by the way she looked and dressed and acted and was with her only because they have kids together.

I just wish I could erase the scalies off my mind!  

[fromheeltoheal]

There's a lot of emotional energy in hate, and Facebook is not really your friend in these situations.  What do you really want?  You've been around for a while now, and it's great that you feel nothing for your ex, sounds like you've detached.  Is it time to detach from his ex?

[pieceofme]

i had a similar experience with my ex's ex. once while he and i were on vacation, she found out (by hacking my instagram) and proceeded to call his phone over 100 times while we were at breakfast. a week later, she claimed to be pregnant with my ex's baby, although she never provided any proof, never allowed my ex to go to the doctor with her, never asked for money for her abortion. i believe it was all just a guise to get my ex to talk to her again. she "needed" his help "getting over it." she was constantly texting him, all hours of the day. he ended up cheating on me with her. at that point, she created a hate account on instagram to cyber bully me - posting screenshots of their texts, details about their sex life, pics of them in bed, she would write long paragraphs personally attacking me, etc. this account was public and she tagged my username on each of her 37 posts. (this was months ago, but to date, she has yet to delete the account. it makes me sick that it still exists for anyone to see.)

i NEVER responded to her in any way, shape or form. but it was traumatic to be repeatedly attacked in such hurtful ways. i don't hate her, but i hate her behavior and question her sanity.

[Rise]

Dolly, why specifically do you hate her? Why do you think she's so evil? What has she done to make you feel this way. And might I ask if you hate this woman so much, why are you looking at her facebook posts?

[catclaw]

this strong negative feeling has to have something with the way you see yourself imo. i'm trying to get to the point right now as well... why is it, DH's uBPDx (SS' mom) drives me so nuts for nothing (except being herself and obvs ill)? i'm getting closer to my own issue with her behaviour and it's still a long way to go.

[fred6]

Dolly, why specifically do you hate her? Why do you think she's so evil? What has she done to make you feel this way. And might I ask if you hate this woman so much, why are you looking at her facebook posts?

I can't answer for Dolly, but I know for me, it's the fact that replacement was pursuing a woman(my ex) on facebook while she was listed in a relationship with me. He may be the best guy in the world. But I doubt it. I consider a man that pursues women that are in relationships or married to be BOYS. They have no integrity, character, or morals. Once my uxBPD gets done chewing him up and spitting him out, I hope he runs into the wrong one who's SO gives him a good @ss whipping. Would serve him right.

But as far as hating him, hell I don't even know him. Actions do however deserve consequences... .