is it wrong of me?

[mitchell16]

is it wrong me to be happy that my ex appears to be misrable without me. After her abusing me for 3 years, Im now the one who has moved on a almost daily and for sure once a week I get an email, text, vm or something telling me how much she misses me, how unhappy she is or begging me to just talk to her. Ive been NC since august when I told her never to contact me again and I ment it.

Im almost happy in the thoughts that it now her in emotinal pain, lonliness. In 3 years she refused to take my calls, respond to emails or texts ive sent asking her to explain why she wsa acting or treating me bad. and she would just ignore them. When she was dating or interested in pursuing other men she wouldnt give me the time of day. Now ive moved on and found someone who is good to me, wants an honest relationship my ex is begging me to talk to her to give her closure. so am I wrong to be kinda happy that now she knows what it feels like.

[Mr.Downtrodden]

My take - I think it is perfectly OK to feel the way you do right now.

If my ex was "stuck" and I was able to move on, I'd feel the same way.  But I am still stuck, trying to deal with the fallout.  It does help when you have someone else to move on with.

I hoped my exGF would feel miserable, etc after realizing the compassionate and understanding person she lost (me) was due to her own selfish actions.

But, I think she is continuing on her merry way, using other guys for sex & validation when she feels lonely, while drinking to cope with day to day life. She doesn't want to change. and why would she?  There will always be willing guys to help her out.

[Deeno02]

I would have to go on record as saying I really dont care if shes happy or miserable. I dont care about her at all. She chose to remove herself from my life. Im doing the same.

[billypilgrim]

I would have to go on record as saying I really dont care if shes happy or miserable. I dont care about her at all. She chose to remove herself from my life. Im doing the same.

I'm ready to be at this point.  I'm getting there.  Each day gets easier.  But this is the ultimate outcome I'm striving towards.  Never again.

[mitchell16]

Oh Ive reached tha point myself. I could careless what she is doing. BUt I would be a liar when she texts me saying she is begging and she is so sad and misrable that I dont smile on the inside a little. I never wanted her in pain or to be sad but she has cause so much I do feel likes it a just a little bit of karma. Once when she wa sgivng me the silent treatment I texting her asking for us to talk like adults and lets get good closure since we cant seeme dto work it it. She tetxed back and told me that my closure was her problem and me being happy wasnt her problem now either. Now shes texting asking me closure. Kinda ironic.

[Deeno02]

Oh Ive reached tha point myself. I could careless what she is doing. BUt I would be a liar when she texts me saying she is begging and she is so sad and misrable that I dont smile on the inside a little. I never wanted her in pain or to be sad but she has cause so much I do feel likes it a just a little bit of karma. Once when she wa sgivng me the silent treatment I texting her asking for us to talk like adults and lets get good closure since we cant seeme dto work it it. She tetxed back and told me that my closure was her problem and me being happy wasnt her problem now either. Now shes texting asking me closure. Kinda ironic.

Put the nail in the coffin... .dont contact her or answer her ever again, unless you have to.

[Targeted]

Mine is emailing me that she wants to meet me face-to-face to say goodbye for closure,

I think the fact that everything was my fault and she would not go get help for her issues

Like I asked is closure enough for me, even though I do miss her and our good times The good did not outweigh the bad, The only good in this relationship for me was the intimacy, everything from just holding hands and back rubs to great sex.  Other than that I was just a slave to her unrealistic needs,  i'm sure I can find somebody else and rub their back and have a better relationship and good sex with without The abuse, cheating, and lack of appreciation for doing everything I did for her.

[Dutched]

I would have to go on record as saying I really dont care if shes happy or miserable. I dont care about her at all. She chose to remove herself from my life. Im doing the same.

Ditto.  It is your life! Ex choosed too, so has to face the consequences as a grown up person do. Despite their emotional age!

Recently I have briefly spoken to exw as exw waved with ‘great confidence’ while sitting on a terrace with her soother (a grandpa age 65yrs., tattoos and an appearance of a Michelin puppet… exw begin 50…).

Exw is not happy, exw is not in love only attached to supply. There is no sparkling left. 

A soother/grandpa(!) who hooked a next last soulmate with a house, comfort at night and to be taken care of in his old days. A soother/grandpa totally not interested in exw as he even failed to pick up exw subtle and desperate signs for support of him, when I asked some questions that where confrontational (intentionally I did to see her and soothers reaction)

For me it was a confirmation after a 4 yrs.

For me it was lifting pain caused by her destruction of my family in a blink of an eye.

It is how pwBPD ‘develop’ with age. They destroy relationships up until the point no supply is left. Then settle for someone who just crossed their path even 10-20 yrs older regardless their social background.

[Popcorn71]

It is how pwBPD ‘develop’ with age. They destroy relationships up until the point no supply is left. Then settle for someone who just crossed their path even 10-20 yrs older regardless their social background.

I agree with you.  I think they get to a point where they really are desperate and will settle with whoever they can get.  My exBPDh is totally being used for financial reasons by the replacement who is from a very different social background.  Although she is younger than my ex and tries (but fails miserably) to be the glamorous trophy wife, she is definitely way down the social scale but he has settled for her (and now cannot escape anyway) because as he told me, 'he didn't want to be alone'.