Giving Up

[needhelp88]

My husband of 10 years and I are separated at the moment and I am thinking of filing for divorce.  He has been on Zoloft for approx. 5 years. When taking his medication on a regular scheduled basis, his symptoms are manageable.  He was recently fired from his job for stealing money which initiated the separation.  The peacefulness I have experienced since his leaving the home makes me VERY reluctant to ever go back.  He is unable to have any kind of close emotional relationship with me, while being very dependent at the same time.  I feel somewhat guilty dissolving the relationship with someone I now know to be sick... .but, it is almost impossible to live with.  He displays almost every trait I have read about including the alcohol and drug abuse which does subside slightly when he is taking his Zoloft on a regular basis.

[JRT]

My husband of 10 years and I are separated at the moment and I am thinking of filing for divorce.  He has been on Zoloft for approx. 5 years. When taking his medication on a regular scheduled basis, his symptoms are manageable.  He was recently fired from his job for stealing money which initiated the separation.  The peacefulness I have experienced since his leaving the home makes me VERY reluctant to ever go back.  He is unable to have any kind of close emotional relationship with me, while being very dependent at the same time.  I feel somewhat guilty dissolving the relationship with someone I now know to be sick... .but, it is almost impossible to live with.  He displays almost every trait I have read about including the alcohol and drug abuse which does subside slightly when he is taking his Zoloft on a regular basis.

I really hope that you and he can work it out... .I wish that I even had the ability to have a dialog... .I know it probably doesn't seem like a blessing at all but it DOES present at least a possibility.

[Mutt]

 

Hi needhelp88,

I would like to welcome you. I'm sorry to hear your seperated and having difficulties  It's frustrating, confusing and hurtful when we don't understand our partners behaviors.

I'm glad that you have found us. There is hope. Many members share similar experiences. It helps to talk.

Here's a primer on BPD. It helps to read about the disorder. You will quickly see the benefits and become proficient over time.

bpdfamily.com about BPD (for Beginners)

Here's another primer to communicate in a way your H will comprehend a little better. A pwBPD need extra validation. Feelings equal facts. Facts are followed by feelings with the non-disordered person. He's wired differently.

TOOLS: S.E.T. - Support, Empathy and Truth

Is this your first separation? I can relate. I was seperated many times.