My first step outside my comfort zone

[Forestaken]

I've been on these boards longer than I can remember.  I finally found the courage to divorce my abusive uBPD+dOCD+Xw.

In therapy, My T told me I suffer from low self-esteem.  When I didn't reward myself for passing 2 professional certifications and achieving my full pension requirements.  He lectured me that I need to value myself. That I deserve a trip.   I looked at Rome, Tibet, France, and each time I waffled, always planning but never typing in my credit card number for the final purchase.

Until today!

I just booked a flight from the East Coast to Honolulu in Feb 2015.  I'll travel alone but I realize this has got to be about me. 

Thought about Hawaii, Silly as it sounds between watching Jack Lord in Hawaii 5-0 and Gilligan's island, I've always wanted to go.  So Aloha and

PS I'm bring resumes too. (Y Not?)

[parisian]

Travel by yourself is an amazing growth experience! It is really rewarding because:

- it forces you to solve things by yourself, as sometimes travel doesn't always go smooth

- it teaches you patience and tolerance, although coming from a background with a BPD ex I'm sure you've probably got bucketloads of that anyway

- you don't have to compromise on what things you want to do or see

- travelling alone opens up other opportunities that don't happen when you're in a couple - people will engage with you more easily because you're on your own, so you can have some interesting conversations with interesting people

- overall, it does tend to improve confidence I find - you get greater comfort in your own skin and abilities

not to mention you get to see some really cool places!

Good luck with the trip - sounds awesome!

[heartandwhole]

Hi Forestaken,

Good for you! What a wonderful gift to give yourself, I'm glad you took that step and booked it. 

I did something similar many years ago, having dreamt of going to the islands, but never thinking I would... .well, I never used the return ticket    Good idea to bring your CV!

heartandwhole

[Forestaken]

Thank you.   I was physically trembling when booking my flight later the hotel.

I had to remind myself that "It's a vacation" not a black hole of death... .like I climbed out of.

[Pingo]

I had to remind myself that "It's a vacation" not a black hole of death... .like I climbed out of.

This made me laugh, I can relate!  Sometimes we let our anxiety take over and everything seems so scary!  This trip sounds so amazing!  And Hawaii!  What a beautiful place to rest & rejuvenate!  Congratulations on taking that big step and doing something purely for yourself, I am envious!  Have a great time!  You have inspired me

[honeybadger]

Congratulations!

I actually love traveling by myself to exotic places. Have a wonderful time and celebrate your strength.

[MaybeSo]

   

[Ziggiddy]

How marvellous for you Forestaken! I once heard that even huge decisions are made in a transient state of mind. it just takes that moment of courage. i am not only pleased that you took the step but also pleased that you posted it here. You really deserve congratulations.

Building up your self esteem is a long slow steady process and you made a great leap.

I like what you did too, to address your consternation

I had to remind myself that "It's a vacation" not a black hole of death... .like I climbed out of.

Appropriate minimisation - the best cure for catastrophic thoughts. I really hope you hold on to that moment. So precious

<applauds>

Ziggiddy

[Forestaken]

Thank you everyone! Your support is immeasurable in my heart.

I did some internet surfing this weekend. I learned for $49 I can join a group tour and snorkel with sea turtles

My X hated water activities   We never did them together.  I would take my kids to water parks, hotel pools, recreation center pools without her.  Now, I do what I want to do.  Not what she demands - It's liberating!

[Grey Kitty]

   

It is a huge shift to do things for yourself after so many years. For me it feels incredibly worthwhile... .and very young and fragile at the same time.

[eyvindr]

That's terrific, Forestaken! -- have fun! You deserve it!

And yes --

Now, I do what I want to do.  Not what she demands - It's liberating!

Yes, you do. Keep it up!

[Deeno02]

I lived there. Miss it daily...