are these things a pwBPD say ?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hi ,

My x was BPD  of the waif type she could get angry slam doors etc  and shout but not rage it was more sulking and passive aggression that was the outlet to her anger .

Anways just wondering if these sound like things BPD'ers would say ?

" I stopped finding my x attractive after a few weeks but stayed with him for years because I wanted a nice guy "

"I'm not interesting there's nothing about me that's interesting I'm boring "

"I know how much you love me other people have told me"

"How I can I trust you (all the time over past sins / paranoid fears etc) "

"I know its selfish but I don't want your dad to get I'll (he nearly died)  and ruin our holiday"

Anger that I would stay in a relationship if we had kids out of loyalty.

"You never smile when you come to pick me up"

"You always moan when we do anything"

"Your not be interested in what I'm saying (because I yawn or look away for a second after her moaning about a problem for 45 minutes) "

Post BU

" I used to hang on your every word now I don't "

" I don't want to see you, your so convincing you will get me back"

" I want to find myself all my ideas and likes are yours" .

[dobie]

Hi ,

My x was BPD  of the waif type she could get angry slam doors etc  and shout but not rage it was more sulking and passive aggression that was the outlet to her anger .

Anways just wondering if these sound like things BPD'ers would say ?

" I stopped finding my x attractive after a few weeks but stayed with him for years because I wanted a nice guy "

"I'm not interesting there's nothing about me that's interesting I'm boring "

"I know how much you love me other people have told me"

"How I can I trust you (all the time over past sins / paranoid fears etc) "

"I know its selfish but I don't want your dad to get I'll (he nearly died)  and ruin our holiday"

Anger that I would stay in a relationship if we had kids out of loyalty.

"You never smile when you come to pick me up"

"You always moan when we do anything"

"Your not be interested in what I'm saying (because I yawn or look away for a second after her moaning about a problem for 45 minutes) "

Post BU

" I used to hang on your every word now I don't "

" I don't want to see you, your so convincing you will get me back"

" I want to find myself all my ideas and likes are yours" .

[ShadowIntheNight]

"I'm not interesting there's nothing about me that's interesting I'm boring"

All the time she said this, and I'd say no you're not. But you know what, she pretty much was because she'd go to work and come home. She'd read gossipy stuff and I could never have a conversation with her about politics or what was happening in the world out side of her and her crises. She's not dumb, she has a Masters degree. But she was boring, she was right about that... .

[billypilgrim]

BPDers typically speak in always and nevers.  It's their black and white world view talking.  You've got a bunch of those on your list.

[Infern0]

" I stopped finding my x attractive after a few weeks but stayed with him for years because I wanted a nice guy "


Mine said she had NEVER been attracted to a guy,  including me, said she was too messed up to know how to be. But at other times would say I was hot or "you look so good I just wanna ___ you now etc.

"I'm not interesting there's nothing about me that's interesting I'm boring "

Yeah I heard that line a thousand times.  It's a lie

"I know how much you love me other people have told me"

Never got that one

"How I can I trust you (all the time over past sins / paranoid fears etc) "

Yup definatley "I can't trust anyone, don't know how to"

"I know its selfish but I don't want your dad to get I'll (he nearly died)  and ruin our holiday"

Not the same situation but "I know it's selfish" was often heard



Definatley some similarities to my waif

[Tibbles]

Yep - they say all those things. Especially the black and white things. Mine used a lot of:

You never ... .

How can I trust you if you act in an untrust worthy manner

I deserve better

I don't deserve to be treated like ___ (apparently I did that a lot - putting him first all the time just didn't cut it in his eyes)

Everyone in the world is a D.H and out to rip him off.

[dobie]

Thanks people another one is

" I can't be happy , because I'm worried it will all go wrong " .


Two weeks before she split me black .

"Everything is going so well , what is going to go wrong? "

"Your such a wonderful man now , not like the old horrible man you used to be"

"We have nothing in common you don't like classical music and opera (ridiculous) "

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

It is really funny some of the things they say.  I love this one from my ex.

Her:  Look I can't see you on Sunday because I am busy with a friend's lunch party.

Me:  OK hun, no problem I will go hiking instead.

Her: It's like that is it? You are pushing me away.

?

[fred6]

Thanks people another one is

" I can't be happy , because I'm worried it will all go wrong " .


Two weeks before she split me black .

"Everything is going so well , what is going to go wrong? "

"Your such a wonderful man now , not like the old horrible man you used to be"

"We have nothing in common you don't like classical music and opera (ridiculous) "

Many times I got the "we have nothing in common" non sense. It started about 2-2.5 years into the relationship. Isn't that something you figure out in the first month or two of dating? Not after 2 years and living together.

When she would say, "we have nothing in common". I would ask her, "Then why are you with me?" or "Why do you have me living here with you?" Her list of answers:

You take care of me

You're good to me

You love me

You care about me

You help me

You're a good guy

Opposites attract

Most of those answers have something in common. ME, ME, ME. Superficially and on the surface, most of the time she seemed and acted like a giving and caring person. In the end though, under the mask she was just a selfish a$$hole.

[CloseToFreedom]

It is really funny some of the things they say.  I love this one from my ex.

Her:  Look I can't see you on Sunday because I am busy with a friend's lunch party.

Me:  OK hun, no problem I will go hiking instead.

Her: It's like that is it? You are pushing me away.

?

HAHAHAHA YESSSS! When they go and do something they want you to sit at home, like a toy they leave for a while, so that you are in the exact same place and state when they get back. You can't be out having fun on your own, now can you? Nope sir, you need to be a good boy and wait for her to make time for you.

Oh my god, so recognisable!

[dobie]

Another one post BU your a friend now and I don't need you I have new friends

[no_ordinary]

HAHAHAHA YESSSS! When they go and do something they want you to sit at home, like a toy they leave for a while, so that you are in the exact same place and state when they get back. You can't be out having fun on your own, now can you? Nope sir, you need to be a good boy and wait for her to make time for you.

Oh my god, so recognisable!

exactly... .i was a good girl and waited for her for months... .until i wasn't anymore    f __ k off