Let Our Scars Fall In Love

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I broke NC and looked at her twitter feed. She's in the process of moving across country to live with her ex. Posted the above quote from a poem which is generally interpreted to have the following meaning: Loving the wrong person

Let our scars fall in love.

--Galway Kinnell      www.dailyafflictions.com/affliction3.html

We're all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you've been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there's no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn't until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems--the ones that make you truly who you are--that we're ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you're looking for. You're looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person--someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, "This is the problem I want to have."

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.

So does this mean she's self aware to know that she's running to a guy who is (at least by men and her family, and her up until she split) no damned good? She knows he has issues too, and this is a I save you, you save me Frog Prince fantasy that she's actually aware of? Or am I just reading to much into a quote?

[Heldfast]

I broke NC and looked at her twitter feed. She's in the process of moving across country to live with her ex. Posted the above quote from a poem which is generally interpreted to have the following meaning: Loving the wrong person

Let our scars fall in love.

--Galway Kinnell      www.dailyafflictions.com/affliction3.html

We're all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you've been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there's no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn't until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems--the ones that make you truly who you are--that we're ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you're looking for. You're looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person--someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, "This is the problem I want to have."

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.

So does this mean she's self aware to know that she's running to a guy who is (at least by men and her family, and her up until she split) no damned good? She knows he has issues too, and this is a I save you, you save me Frog Prince fantasy that she's actually aware of? Or am I just reading to much into a quote?

[Matt8888]

Seems like most of them do have rare moments of clarity.  The 2 BPD women I've been with at very rare time would say " I'm such a bean person, why do you put up with my ___?".  Then hours later are back to the way they always were.

They do know they're disordered, but with their emotions the way they are, it almost always about their needs.  We really aren't anything special to them and this new guy is in for the same result that we got.

BPD always wins.

[JRT]

Odd... .

I am curious to know what the circumstances were relating to the break up with her ex... .is that something that you know about? What compelled her to go back to him especially when it is far from a convenient option seeing that he lives so far away?

[Heldfast]

They stopped dating seven years ago, and she's been in two relationships between him and me, then she broke off our engagement after seeing him at a mutual friends wedding we went to and ran straight to him. She lived with him for a little while when she ran away from home in high school. My understanding is she left him, but I've also been told he threw her out. She never had a single nice thing to say about him, but after seeing him at the wedding, they reconnected hard, and she said how much better he was doing and it was so different for her to see him like that. They'd begun texting behind my back, and on her way out the door she told me he had texted her things like "you're the only woman for me" "I've never had a relationship since you" "I want to move down there and fight for you." And the fact that this happening raises no red flags for him? Yeah, he's no prince, he likes to drive dangerously, he's short squat and fat, hipster wannabe (she's 4 inches taller than him, the photos of the two of them from the wedding are ridiculous) and every stripper in the club we went to at bridal parties request post rehearsal dinner knew him by name because he'd been spending so much time there before the wedding. I definitely feel the downgrade, but somehow he's her prince charming and our two and a half years were all garbage to her.