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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Best advice  (Read 410 times)
Keysmiami

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 46


« on: February 17, 2015, 07:36:00 PM »

I'm finding myself still thinking about her two weeks after she cut it from one day to the next. Too many texts pouring my heart out trying to get an explanation to make any sense out of such a drastic change with only one sentence responses. She experienced something different without telling me. You all call it the illusion. A good friend today told me why are you wasting your time thinking about someone who obviously doesn't care how you feel or what you do. It's true. She couldn't care less because she is devoid of empathy or human emotion. I was so healthy before I went out with her after having done multiple rounds of p90x and eating right. She was and is always in crisis. I usually am so disciplined that I could workout at home. Now to get out of the house i joined a gym in hopes of meeting people and getting in the best shape of my life. I'm going to sweat the b___ out. I stopped trying to contact her today and know she wil wonder why I'm not paying attention anymore. I don't want her anymore. I should have just had sex with her. Thats all she can handle. I got sucked in and that was my mistake. I was so distraught I almost checked into a hospital because the change was so abrupt with no explanation other than " I can't do this" over the phone on her Bluetooth. I'd seen her a few times after but she never could talk about it and couldn't look me in the eye. No doubt she has a replcement paying attention to her. The absolute most painful experience of my life. Forget all this bull___ people and take care of yourselves this illness is evil.
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Mutt
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
Posts: 10400



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« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2015, 01:05:26 AM »

Hi keysmiami,

Welcome

Too many texts pouring my heart out trying to get an explanation to make any sense out of such a drastic change with only one sentence responses.

Indifference is tough. I'm sorry.

My ex still does this; ignores many messages, responds mostly if it's something for her needs and many times one word or three word answers. It's hurtful.

I think working out's a good idea. It'll boost your mood too.

It helps to talk.

Your friend has good advice and he means well. A break-up with someone with a personality disorder is tough and he may not understand how painful this is.
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"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
Loosestrife
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 612



« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2015, 03:36:58 AM »

I can relate to this, I have recycled many times and eventually it has got less painful. My own self discipline and ability to be by myself has been lost but unknown it will come back eventually as will other things as I get back to being me. I like the idea of sweating them out of your system, thanks. I am going to try that Smiling (click to insert in post)
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