i think we are breaking up... help me end it with succsses

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

We had a fight today ... .it seems i got to the point of "confused and not sure if i want to continue"... .But via sms ... .and he is telling me " i cant believe ure breaking up with me via messaging" ... .i feel so baddd, i want to cry , why do i already miss him when i want to break up?  

[ImGoingCrazy]

We had a fight today ... .it seems i got to the point of "confused and not sure if i want to continue"... .But via sms ... .and he is telling me " i cant believe ure breaking up with me via messaging" ... .i feel so baddd, i want to cry , why do i already miss him when i want to break up?  

[OnceConfused]

Your feeling of missing him is quite normal for that attachment is a part of our nature. We would rather cling onto a known suffering than the unkhown future. It is like a drug addict, who wants to get the next high even though she/he knows that that drug is leading them to self destruction.

You have to fight that clinging feeling hard. Get the support you need from your friend and your family to overcome this. Or you can just sign on here and post your thoughts. I did find posting my thoughts were therapeutic.

[Suzn]

I read your text to mean you need some space to think. He takes it down an extreme path, which isn't surprising. Don't follow him down that path. Taking some time for yourself to clear your mind is healthy when you feel confused. This is a good example of self care. I'm sorry you are hurting, the possibility of breaking up is a difficult and sad time for anyone.  

[fromheeltoheal]

My ex was very, very good at confrontation and chaos, always had an angle in a fight, always manipulative, always committed to winning,a nd she was so good because she had lots and lots of practice, her whole life was chaos.  If yours is like that, breaking up by text takes away a lot of his power, and if you're like me, you might have thought you had no other choice because you were going insane, as your username says.  The bottom line is good for you for putting yourself first and taking care of yourself; again if you're like me you probably didn't do too much of that in the relationship.  And now the withdrawal from the addiction starts; just be clear that the hardest part is at the beginning, meaning it gets nothing but easier, and we'll always be here for you and we understand.  Take care of you!

[ImGoingCrazy]

He is telling me he is going crzay too and is feeling bad and telling me "take time to think about it"... .i cant stop thinking how will he feel ... .hes alone and desperate

... .Im damn confused  

[mrwigand]

I think it's commendable that you are concerned about his wellbeing even as you are probably in a place where you need support, but DON'T STAY because you think he can't handle it emotionally. It's too much pressure on you to stay in a relationship for that reason, and it's not healthy. Supporting our loved ones during times of mental stress is essential, but at the end of the day they have to find their own strength. Also, it might sound trite but it's also true, but you deserve to take care of yourself as well.

[Suzn]

i cant stop thinking how will he feel ... .hes alone and desperate

My friend this is a perfect example of putting someone else's needs before your own. Taking some time to step back so that you can clear your mind so you CAN reassess isn't making a decision per say... .it's giving yourself time for extreme emotions to subside so you can make a balanced decision based on including facts and not just emotions.