Is there a way to stop the smearing and overreach?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Back!

Officially divorced, officially ordered to communicate only via OFW.  Is there a way to stop the smearing campaigns?  I mean, she's contacting everyone I know, parents, family, neighbors, FB friends, and even her boyfriend is teaming up with her to spread more lies!

There has to be a way to make that STOP!

[SKyDancer]

Back!

Officially divorced, officially ordered to communicate only via OFW.  Is there a way to stop the smearing campaigns?  I mean, she's contacting everyone I know, parents, family, neighbors, FB friends, and even her boyfriend is teaming up with her to spread more lies!

There has to be a way to make that STOP!

[hope2727]

If you figure one out let me know. 

Document everything. Never meet alone. Minimize contact.

And always remember. "Be who you are and say how you feel. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss

Sorry dude best I can do.

[crony]

I am still in the process of leaving, but I have been smeared for years. My experience is that mutual friends generally don't take too much of it to heart. They see my behavior vs my ex, and notice that I don't smear my ex at all. Just the contrast in behavior makes a huge difference in their opinion.

Think of it like politics. People generally do not respond well to dirty politics or when candidates smear each other.

Where the smearing is effective, is with non mutual friends. I do not expect friends of my ex to see me as the decent human being I know myself to be. I expect them to see me as the abusive ex who has the personality disorder. This actually does not bother me too much. Most of these people do not have my respect to begin with.

Some of them have gotten to know me over the years and have seen the contrast in behavior though. They have also seen how we interact. I have had a few of them tell me in confidence that they know my ex is the abusive one, that they see it, and some have been so disgusted, they end up becoming my friends.

It sucks, it is messy, but when it comes to the PR game, the only way to win is not to play.

[JRT]

This begs the question: if she agreed to the divorce, why does she continue the smear campaign?

[SKyDancer]

Because the hurt and hatred is driving her to do that? No clue, just wish she'd move on.