Hi Inern0
Slightly confused by his logic about There's Something About Mary
I've seen it a few times and I enjoyed it but from what I remember the Ben Stiller character falls in love with Mary in high school.
After a very brief relationship (if you can call it that) and no subsequent contact he obsesses about Mary for the next 20 years, unable to move on despite years of therapy.
He hires a PI (Dillon) to find her (stalking). The PI (a shady character) starts to behave obsessively before he even meets Mary and stalks her too lying to Stiller. He spies on her, bugging her apartment until he has enough information to try and pretend to be the kind of man she finds attractive.
We then discover that Woogy, Stiller's friend also stalked Mary to the point where she had to get a protection order and move to another state (scary stuff). She is also being stalked by another man pretending to be an architect who secretly sabotaged her relationship with a baseball star. (scary stuff too)
Mary has a good job, a group of close friends and works hard to look after her brother. She isn't unstable, she doesn't rage, show any signs of instability or exhibit any noticeable borderlines traits.
She is beautiful and friendly. She does seem to attract unhealthy obsessive people. It's our job to work out who is healthy and who is not and protect ourselves with good boundaries and Mary's radar may not be functioning at an optimum, but is she responsible for all these guys dysfunctional behaviour? Who needs more help here?
I think we're attracted to people who make us feel good about ourselves, that doesn't make them borderline.
Reforming
