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Author Topic: Learning Validation  (Read 537 times)
Cole
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
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« on: June 26, 2015, 05:29:57 PM »

We all talk about validation on this site. And I don't know about the rest of you folks, but I struggle with it. Not only is it a difficult to master skill for the type A's, but it is even harder to master at the level needed to be in a relationship with a pwBPD.

So. I have been researching the topic and came across several great sources. This is the best I have seen, and thought I would share:

www.santacruztherapist.net/Articles/Validating%20Feelings.html

Sure would favor some feedback from those who are better than I with this skill.
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jhkbuzz
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2015, 05:44:26 PM »

I'm not responding because I'm better at it; I'm responding because I've always been a bit confused by it myself.  That article is clear and easy to understand!  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
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Cole
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Posts: 563


« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2015, 06:22:55 PM »

I'm not responding because I'm better at it; I'm responding because I've always been a bit confused by it myself.  That article is clear and easy to understand!  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

It is an eye opener. I am a problem solver, very logical and unemotional. Comes from years in law enforcement. W voices how she feels, I automatically try to solve the problem. This does not work out too well.   

BPDw, like most pwBPD, is HIGHLY emotional. Makes communication extremely difficult.

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jhkbuzz
********
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1639



« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2015, 08:21:33 PM »

I'm not responding because I'm better at it; I'm responding because I've always been a bit confused by it myself.  That article is clear and easy to understand!  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

It is an eye opener. I am a problem solver, very logical and unemotional. Comes from years in law enforcement. W voices how she feels, I automatically try to solve the problem. This does not work out too well.   



BPDw, like most pwBPD, is HIGHLY emotional. Makes communication extremely difficult.

Yes - I wish I had understood this (and validation) when I was in the r/s. We parted ways nearly a year ago. Good for you for trying to understand and implement good communication skills!

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