I have to admit that this really shakes my longstanding beliefs and opinions regarding faith, God, trust, loyalty, persistence, sacrifice, giving, love and just being a good person in general. Its not always the case that any of those things matter (I always thought that they did); in the end, I have been wasting my time.
You really cared for her. It didn't work out. That is a huge loss.
I really thought ... .some subtle signs that I saw provided an indication that she might be ready to communicate, but it looks like I might have mis-read these signs.
The important thing is you can read the signs more clearly, now.
In the end, she only saw two emails. The rest of the stuff was blocked - so its as it never existed (which is good, it was probably too much).