BPD is a persecution complex. The person believes that their circumstances from from outside are caused externally from the actions and behaviors of others. You're right, your ex will shift to either the victim or rescuer roles in a drama triangle. I co-parent with my ex and sometimes she'll rescue the kids if she's floundering she will shift blame and cast me in the role of persecutor because its easier than taking responsibility for herself. That's BPD.
I don't have to assume the role that she cast me in and take the blame. I can't move to the center if the triangle. I think that it helps to understand these dynamics so that we're aware of the roles that are cast in drama triangles.
You got closure from her exe partner and her current one. The current one heard stories about you that were all bad. Did you hear similar stories about her exes and what sorts of feelings dud that illicit with you? I heard bad stories about my ex wife's exes. They were all bad. Realistically we're in the grey area with good and bad qualities. A decade ago I didn't understand what rescuing was,I felt sorry for my ex and I wanted to take care of her. She has a dependency on others to take care of things that honestly she should be taking care of herself.
To answer your question is there more to experience with a pwBPD? My answer is not if you choose not to be a part of the drama. You're probably a source of shame for her right now and she's projecting her feelings l. Be aware of triangles and the role that we play. You have 3 triangles in your post, calling the cops is a quick way to triangulate you as the bad guy, for not she sees you as "all bad".
Yeah I did hear alot of bad stories about stalkers and abusive boyfriends and here I am just a new story for her. I always thought I wouldn't be " that guy " ... How do you avoid being the persecutor in the triangle?
