Bpd And recycling

[Scopikaz]

I still don't fully know if my ex girlfriend is BPD or if so to what degree though she definitely fits much of the description. That said her first relationship was when she was young. Perhaps 20 or 21 and it lasted ten years.  They had two children and I know by end of that marriage there was something abusive that happened and she left with her children. 

But the next two years or so she couch surfed but there was another semi long relationship in there that also failed and was bad at the end.

She admittedly was vulnerable as she lost her children so she rushed into another marriage.

That one ended badly sort of and then she met me towards end of second marriage.


While our relationship started out as all others here describe - intense. Fast. Loving. Best woman I've known. Too good to be true etc I made some mistakes for sure. But nothing like I heard of her exes. 

Yet we were only together a year and a half total (two years talking).

So my question is I guess do relationships last longer or do they tend to become

Shorter.

She is talking to me still in text (it's only been a week since she left). So I am still depressed and hoping she will eventually come back. Why I don't know. But in our texts when I talk about us she shuts it down. Says she can't do that now. Says need to keep it light as friends. Said that's what she needs now.

Due to nature in which her marriages ended she has not been able to recycle them or go back.

I don't think she's ever had anyone want to maintain friendship or desire to get back with her post breakup.  So it may be new to her.

But I'm wanting to go no contact now

I got off fb now, just for my own health. But occasionally deactivate to look at her page. She's posting things making it look like she is victim. Things about she went on a trip all alone. Or was watching movie all by herself. Etc. I realize she is trying to reel in sympathy or another man like this.  She is beautiful and can have any man she wants though.

Just looking for answers still. And hoping she will reach out and want to try again

I'm thinking of going NC for a month. I pray I can do it.

[enlighten me]

I was with my uBPD ex wife for fourteen years. We never argued and when she left it came out of the blue. The picture she painted of me after was tat I was an abusive, controlling monster.

My exgf painted a picture of her exs as either abusive, cheaters, alcoholics or mental cases. She painted me as abusive and said that I treat her like my personal maid. This has baffled people who know me as when ever they had seen us I was always the one doing the dishes or cleaning up. I did nearly all my own washing and wasn't allowed to do hers or the kids as I would do it wrong. I was always painting and decorating and never sat around lording it over her.

I bought into her stories about her exs but now doubt them very much or should I say doubt they are the whole truth. I believe she drove her first husband to drink and her last was on the verge of a nervous breakdown which I can understand as she nearly drove me there.

I think it all depends on the person and the partner as to whether they last longer or not. A stronger partner might be uncomfortable for them as they see through them and don't put up with as much. With my ex wife I think it lasted longer as I was naïve and willing to put up with her behaviour as I knew no better. I didn't put up with as much with my exgf. Maybe as we get older we get wiser and that is why the relationships get shorter as their peers aren't willing to put up with it. Maybe this is why some go for people so much younger and more naïve.