Ugh Does it ever end even after it's over?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I feel so violated

My ex uBPD/NPD ex BF and I split mid Sept. I had enuff of the crazies.

Was involved in 9/11 and his abusive behaviors triggered my PTSD... causing lost wrk... income... and depression. ( not that having PTSD deterred  him from raging as I calmly asked him to and what effect it had on me)

Practically the last 4 mos, of it ... I got hammered verbally and emotionally every time I questioned events that didn't "add up," or were down right contradicting,  only to find later, my intuition was correct on his cheating, and remaining on dating websites, when we were " together supposedly, with the most laughable, childish reasons accompanied by rage attacks... All the while I was looking at the facts right in front of me on the screen.

One of my phones,( having a business one, and personal one)

The iPhone I always used when visiting him... started Wigging out... Thought it had a virus... turning on flashing... taking 4ever to turn off... And battery not holding for long...

Then my Mac PC ( rarely used) I noticed had

New programs installed, then would disappear the next day.

I knew he was a control freak... and saw how vindictive he could be, talking ABT his boss... what he would do if he was let go of... sure had something to do with the red flags contributing in me ending it in Sept with many other visable reasons including verbal & emotional assaults with throwing things... and threats.

but never thought until recently would he  actually invade my privacy or cause damage to my phone and PC. I was wrong  I caught on when Skype bills starting coming in... ( I don't use Skype) the weird programs popping up... and disappearing ...

He was so " private" overly so... almost like guarding his phone... and PC... at his home.

I was naive to think the guy would intrude upon my privacy ... and keep doing so 3 mos post breakup. Well, I finally took the phone in...

To have cked... out ... and sure enough, the creep had me integrated into his network.

My IP address matched his location  in New York.

[Marshmellow]

I feel so violated

My ex uBPD/NPD ex BF and I split mid Sept. I had enuff of the crazies.

Was involved in 9/11 and his abusive behaviors triggered my PTSD... causing lost wrk... income... and depression. ( not that having PTSD deterred  him from raging as I calmly asked him to and what effect it had on me)

Practically the last 4 mos, of it ... I got hammered verbally and emotionally every time I questioned events that didn't "add up," or were down right contradicting,  only to find later, my intuition was correct on his cheating, and remaining on dating websites, when we were " together supposedly, with the most laughable, childish reasons accompanied by rage attacks... All the while I was looking at the facts right in front of me on the screen.

One of my phones,( having a business one, and personal one)

The iPhone I always used when visiting him... started Wigging out... Thought it had a virus... turning on flashing... taking 4ever to turn off... And battery not holding for long...

Then my Mac PC ( rarely used) I noticed had

New programs installed, then would disappear the next day.

I knew he was a control freak... and saw how vindictive he could be, talking ABT his boss... what he would do if he was let go of... sure had something to do with the red flags contributing in me ending it in Sept with many other visable reasons including verbal & emotional assaults with throwing things... and threats.

but never thought until recently would he  actually invade my privacy or cause damage to my phone and PC. I was wrong  I caught on when Skype bills starting coming in... ( I don't use Skype) the weird programs popping up... and disappearing ...

He was so " private" overly so... almost like guarding his phone... and PC... at his home.

I was naive to think the guy would intrude upon my privacy ... and keep doing so 3 mos post breakup. Well, I finally took the phone in...

To have cked... out ... and sure enough, the creep had me integrated into his network.

My IP address matched his location  in New York.

[Marshmellow]

Sorry post got cut off...

Has anyone here had this experience and if so... I would appreciate knowing how u dealt with it.

I'm so exhausted... from it all... Yet it seems to never stop. I'm off all social media... etc.

I just want it to stop...

3 mos post break up... and still dealing with this... I'm so tired if it!

Thanks for listening...

Aldactone

[Itstopsnow]

My ex male BPD cheated on me the whole time we dated which I only found out 3 weeks ago, had a second girlfriend . Used me , absused me, spit in my face. And now 3 weeks of NC he cancelled my gym membership that wasn't even under his name anymore and it was under my credit card. He is so vindictive. And he was a Roman Cathlolic priest! I can't get over that part of it. He is spiritually bankrupt . I can't believe he can't just walk away . He is mad bc he lost the second girlfriend bc I told her the truth. He was cheating on both of us. These are his actions . These people suck I'm sorry but I am going to stereotype right now. Bc even the best of borderlines have a cruel selfish side . It was so not worth dating him

[Should I stay or...]

Hi Marshmellow,

Sorry to hear that you're in distress, these types of relationships can be maddening.

Just for clarification of your story, you split in mid September, does he still have access to your cellular and Pc or were these sabotage antics done prior to the break-up?

[Michelle27]

I had a suspicion (but couldn't prove it) that my ex installed some kind of app on my phone in which he could see what I was texting.  We were separated when I made the decision that it would no longer be a therapeutic separation and we were done.  I waited 8 days to tell him but discussed it with my adult daughter from my first marriage by text and one other girlfriend, neither of whom were in contact with him.  Then I got word from neighbors that he was telling them we were over and moving stuff out of our home days before we told him.  I don't know how he did it but that's the only way he could have known.  I have since replaced my phone as well as my SIM card in case my suspicions were right.