how many soulmate does one BPD person have?
I think it depends on how you view the original quote that was posted. I do believe that my pwBPD is my soulmate. That doesn't mean we're good for each other or that I'm even going to speak to her again. However, I will be forever thankful to her for making me a stronger person and for helping me take huge steps in my life that I wouldn't have taken had she never entered my life.
I made the following decisions because of her:
1) I decided to, at the age of 29, finally move out of my parents' house and buy my own house.
2) I finally came out to my mother, after hiding my sexuality from her for over 15 years.
3) I decided to put myself out there and join dating sites.
4) I joined Meet Up groups and went to a few gatherings.
5) I opened myself up to friendships with other people.
6) I opened up to close friends about my depression and social anxiety, something I hid from them for years.
7) I removed myself from a drama triangle at work and didn't allow myself to be part of a co-worker's mind games.
She challenged me in a lot of ways. I never opened up to anyone. Once, when she was visiting her parents and I was clearly upset about something and texted her that everyone at work didn't really say anything, she replied, "Would you have even told them that you're upset, if they had asked? Or would you have just shrugged it off?" She noticed that about me and called me out on it. She's incredibly perceptive.
From what I've seen online, none of her other exes have made such huge changes in their life. I have accepted my part in our relationship and understand that I am partly to blame for some of the things that happened. Her most recent ex blames her for everything and refuses to acknowledge his lack of boundaries. And most of her other exes weren't around long enough (1-2 months, typically) to experience all of her BPD traits, so they probably just view her as being a bit odd and that's it.
She student taught where I work, and we really only had one long conversation when she was student teaching, but it lasted for 3 hours. The first time we spoke, we had a conversation that went on for that long. That should have been the end of it, but as luck would have it, a teacher in my department was going on maternity leave a month after my pwBPD finished student teaching, and my pwBPD got the position. We became friends as soon as she came back. That position ended, and that could have been the end of it. But as luck would have it, another teacher went on maternity leave, and my pwBPD was called in to take over for that teacher. I have worked at the school for eight years, and that was the only time that someone student taught in the fall and then ended up staying for the entire school year.
Again, none of this means that we are good together, but I definitely have emerged from all of this a stronger person.
