trying to be strong

[tebone]

Hello all. I have been in a relationship with my gf for almost 9 years.  If you ask her it's only been a relationship for the first 2. She is the love of my life and I would do anything to help her. A little background, we met and things were amazing for the first 2 years. Then out of nowhere she says I'm not happy I'm going to stay with my mother (we shared and apartment). I find out later that she was seeing some guy but constantly had me over because she missed me. Apparently that fizzled out and she came back to the apartment. Things were great we bought a house together and 2 months later she left again. No notice this time just kept leaving for days to weeks to a few months. I had no idea what was going on or where she was. I was assured there wasn't anyone else. Four months later she came back and things were great again. Then the bomb came that she was 5 months pregnant. We decided to do this together and I was there every step of the way. Now I find out that her was "dating" the dad for 2 years from when we bought the house. The kid is now 4. I have just recently put all the past events together and it blew my mind to realize she has BPD. Now things are even crazier because she "fell in love" with someone who knocked her up after knowing her for 3 weeks. I feel so lost amd ashamed that I have stayed waiting for her to see what she is doing to our family. She keeps saying she's going to move out but in the past 2 months she's only packed her books and blurays. I know she has split me blacker than black and that this new relationship with the current dude isn't going to work. I miss her so badly. I don't know what to do. She has always come back to me but I don't know how much more I can forgive.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[lbjnltx]

Hi tebone,

Welcome to the site!

I'm sorry to learn that you and your family are in such a state of turmoil.

You say that you miss her, do you want her to stay and work this out?

The answer to this question will help us know what board can best help you at this time. 

lbjnltx

[tebone]

Yes I would love go her to acknowledge any emotion besides anger towards me and work thru this together. I don't know what to do anymore.  I've tried repetitively to tell her I love her and I'm here for her no matter what. I've also flat out tired ignoring her to the point that I go straight to my room every time she's here. I am just so lost and know under her disorder she loves me but is so clouded by it.

[lbjnltx]

This is all so difficult to know how to navigate!

Based on your goals, the Saving a Relationship Board is the best place for you start to get some support and guidance.

The members there understand how difficult this all is and will be willing to help you.

I will move your topic to that board.

Stay with us tebone, we want to help.

lbj