thanks for the replies,
I see my brother occasionally and he calls me mostly when he is in trouble. I rarely call him unless it's to return his calls. If he needs to go to appointments he will call me to take him. My brother has been diagnosed with BPD with anxiety, depression and addiction. He only went sporadically to appointments at the mental health clinic so he could secure his pension allowance and since then has not returned for more than 7 years. He didn't follow any recommendations for medication and psychology sessions and he accused them of being useless idiots and throwing pills (which he sold)at the problem. He did get some home visits but more often than not he pretended not to be home so they would leave without seeing him. He plays the victim all the time and there is always someone else to blame for his troubles. I despise his lack of self discipline, his rages, his self pity, his refusal to take responsibility for his life, his refusal to accept help etc but at the same time I think he hasn't chosen to be like this, if it really is an illness then he can't help doing what he does and I should feel sorry for him and do more to help aghhh
We were very close as children and he can be very charming. He is well read and has great general knowledge. When he's not flipping out he is entertaining and interesting to talk to, but it never lasts and his mood can change in an instant and he becomes angry unreasonable and manipulative. He's fine when things go his way and like a desperate mad man when they don't.
My father does suffer with depression for which he takes a mild medication but he has had a full and productive life so his depression hasn't been too debilitating. That is the only family history of mental illness.
My brother has not worked for years and when my mum was alive he bleed my parents dry. He never paid anything back and never showed any gratitude for all they did for him. He used to call mum every day to moan and spread the misery. He'd demand money for rent and bills or food(drug debts) on a regular basis and threaten dyer consequences if they refused. Once, they bought him a computer after weeks of badgering and then had to give him more money to get it back after he pawned it!
My Dad has no contact with him now but does direct debit $25 a week into his account and has done for 5 years. I don't know why I feel so guilty about him maybe it's more about sadness. He only has me and his daughter and we both avoid him as much as we possibly can.
