Just read a short blurb on how us nons can project our "good" qualities onto others with the hope it will somehow stick? Somehow become a reality?
I guess another word would be expectation?
Denial?
Anyway this seems to be what I practiced for a long time while in my toxic relationship with my BPD partner. This subject brought out some interesting thought for me. Maybe we both projected, wanting what we wanted?
Nice Jerry, good awareness! Yes, we all practice projection all the time, both positive and negative, and it's common, certainly true for me, to create a fantasy version of our exes in our heads, helped along by the idealization phase at the beginning of the relationship, and project that onto our partners, even though it can be little more than a fantasy that doesn't match the reality of the situation. And to continue on with that fantasy in the face of evidence to the contrary is to delude ourselves, and living a delusion like that can have us tolerate a lot of abuse and disrespect that had we been looking at things more objectively and rationally, we wouldn't have. There's a lot of value in digging into why we ran with that delusion and what was triggered in us when reality diverged from the fantasy, but the first step is realizing the projection, and good for you!
Just wondered what others think, or has this been disgusted already?
I think you meant discussed, but yes, it's been disgusted already too... .
