Flash backs of the cheating checked her fb, still hurts deep down

[Depression = 72% of members]

1.6 months out after discard/replaced by BPDexgf... .I foolishly looked at here facebook last night from a friends account, she has had a demon girl illustration as her profile pic since I last blocked her and denied her friend request, she instantly changed her pic to this demon girl :s it has remained as this for over a month, last night I changed my profile pic, then checked her account again and she had instantly changed her pic from the demon to a nice picture of her with hew hair in a bar, my replacement clearly took the picture and they were clearly out on a date night with candles etc, she would never come out or want to do anything with me after idealization phaze, hurts to be reminded, having a bad patch recently and down... i really shouldnt keep looking at her fb, i feel watched by her, yet im watching her... and she is still with replacement living together where i once lived and worked hard to make look nice, they work together still too, which is how the affair started... all hurts again atm i was doing so well, now im back to studying minimal fb activity again, after all she reached out to be friends but i blocked and went NC with her again after, what she did to me was nothing short of evil and yet wanted to be friends, she gave me no closure and never said sorry, its like part of me still wants her and replacement to fail and her to want me again, even tho i would never take her back, ill never know if she thinks of me or was sorry or felt bad for what she did, maybe the shame is too much, maybe she is glad and enjoyed destroying my kind soul, it appeared that way... i don't know... im waffling just looking for some words of encouragment today, thanks for reading guys

[Rickybee]

1.6 months out after discard/replaced by BPDexgf... .I foolishly looked at here facebook last night from a friends account, she has had a demon girl illustration as her profile pic since I last blocked her and denied her friend request, she instantly changed her pic to this demon girl :s it has remained as this for over a month, last night I changed my profile pic, then checked her account again and she had instantly changed her pic from the demon to a nice picture of her with hew hair in a bar, my replacement clearly took the picture and they were clearly out on a date night with candles etc, she would never come out or want to do anything with me after idealization phaze, hurts to be reminded, having a bad patch recently and down... i really shouldnt keep looking at her fb, i feel watched by her, yet im watching her... and she is still with replacement living together where i once lived and worked hard to make look nice, they work together still too, which is how the affair started... all hurts again atm i was doing so well, now im back to studying minimal fb activity again, after all she reached out to be friends but i blocked and went NC with her again after, what she did to me was nothing short of evil and yet wanted to be friends, she gave me no closure and never said sorry, its like part of me still wants her and replacement to fail and her to want me again, even tho i would never take her back, ill never know if she thinks of me or was sorry or felt bad for what she did, maybe the shame is too much, maybe she is glad and enjoyed destroying my kind soul, it appeared that way... i don't know... im waffling just looking for some words of encouragment today, thanks for reading guys

[Mutt]

Hi Rickybee,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. That has to sting having the replacement take over what you put effort into - keep in mind that he'll be in the fire too.

Is she fond of Halloween? I wouldn't look too much into the picture, Halloween was just a week ago, but I'm just guessing.

I know that this is a really hurtful spot to be at the moment but we can do things to speed up our recovery, i also know it's hard to not peek on social media, but I'd block her and not peek because it's pouring salt on your wounds. . What do you like to do for self care? A strategy could be when you feel like peeking, go for a walk, go to the gym and work out, visit family or friends