Lost and cofused

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I am new to BPD as after 40 years I think my mom has it. My whole life I knew something was wrong. I always thoughtbitvwas me. I finally realised it's not. If I find a new friend or a guy inam interested she is first to point out anything bad about me. That includes making up things. She has called child protective services 4 times in the last 2 months. The reason is that I found a boyfriend after 3 years of being a single mom. My other boyfriends were strong enough to see past her evil ways. Now she has filed a petition for sole custody of my 3 year old. She tried this with my now 20 year . All of her allegations are false. I am at my wits end.

[So_ alone21]

I am new to BPD as after 40 years I think my mom has it. My whole life I knew something was wrong. I always thoughtbitvwas me. I finally realised it's not. If I find a new friend or a guy inam interested she is first to point out anything bad about me. That includes making up things. She has called child protective services 4 times in the last 2 months. The reason is that I found a boyfriend after 3 years of being a single mom. My other boyfriends were strong enough to see past her evil ways. Now she has filed a petition for sole custody of my 3 year old. She tried this with my now 20 year . All of her allegations are false. I am at my wits end.

[Woolspinner2000]

Welcome So_alone21!

I'm glad you have found us.  I am very sorry for the struggles you currently find yourself in with your uBPDm. So sad. I hope that all works our for you to keep custody. Please keep us informed.

My whole life I knew something was wrong. I always thought it was me. I finally realised it's not.

I've always felt this same way too, and I know that many other members join us in this. It is so hard when you know it's not right, but what is "it"? How validating it was to me upon my discovery of the word borderline and the reading of the disorder, with the  going on for me. Did you feel the same way too? What characteristics does your mom show that cause you to think she is BPD?

Reducing conflict with a BPD can be a big help as you try to begin walking through what you can do to help bring about some changes for you. I'll include a couple of links for you that may help you:

https://bpdfamily.com/content/emotional-blackmail-fear-obligation-and-guilt-fog

https://bpdfamily.org/2010/09/video-tools-to-reduce-conflict-with.html

Do you have a support group of friends who are near you?

 
Wools

[Naughty Nibbler]

So_ alone21:

I'l like to join Woolspinner in welcoming you!

The situation with you mom sounds awful.  What feedback have you gotten from CPS, in regard to the complaints your mom has filed?  Do you have reason to believe that CPS's findings will support your mom's action in any way (that they have sided with your mom on any of her false reports)?

There is a family law section on the boards.  It might be a helpful resource at some point, should you have some specific questions about fighting your mom in court.