I need help with a BPD wife

[jlkraft]

I am in a 5 year marriage with someone with BPD.  We have a 16 month old and things are getting progressively worse by the minute.  I have tried everything to figure out how to effectively communicate with my wife on just even the basics of life's tasks, to no avail.  No matter how many different therapists we go to once the focus is turned to my wife's behavior everything goes to hell usually with her walking out of the session never to return the therapist who clearly is "on my side."  I do not want our son growing up in a broken home but it is functionally broken now.  I need new tools to navigate this relationship.  I love my wife to death but no matter what I do she does not feel loved or always depressed.  HELP

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi jkraft,



I'm.sorry to hear that. I can see how distressing that would feel when things feel like their falling apart I'm happy that you decided to join is, there is hope.

Read as much as you can about the disorder, you'll quickly see the benefits and become proficient over time. A pwBPD have feelings of low self worth, low esteem and feel a lot of shame. Guilt is when you feel like you have done something wrong, shame feels like there's something wrong with you. If you think about it, it would hard to wake up in the morning and feel shame throughout the entire day. I just want to point out the lessons on the right of the board------->

#2 validation. A pwBPD need a lot of validation. I'm.suggesting ti validate everything, validate what is valid. Validation makes you feel like you're heard, r/s, the bricks of invalidation will erode the foundation of your r/s. How's your support network in real life with family and friends? Hang in there.