Avoidant Attachment / BPD

[Depression = 72% of members]

Not sure how to respond to my partner with BPD. I definitely have an avoidant attachment style meaning I hate conflict. He gets mad because I won’t go back to conversations and put conversations off although I have gotten better because I know he needs a resolution. Everything I have read has said basically we don’t engage, we don’t argue, we don’t defend, etc. So when I take that stance, how do I keep from feeling as though I am avoiding the issue or being told that I am avoiding the issue because I “always walk away”.

[Green Penguin]

Not sure how to respond to my partner with BPD. I definitely have an avoidant attachment style meaning I hate conflict. He gets mad because I won’t go back to conversations and put conversations off although I have gotten better because I know he needs a resolution. Everything I have read has said basically we don’t engage, we don’t argue, we don’t defend, etc. So when I take that stance, how do I keep from feeling as though I am avoiding the issue or being told that I am avoiding the issue because I “always walk away”.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[cynp]

Something to know is your pwBPD may not accept your discusion as over unless you verify their versio of events whether or not that is the reality. They may demand you go round and round and apologise and accept all blame whether or not that is the truth. it is not always a mystery why we do not want to get unto these conversations with our loved ones and try to avoid them.