Watching myself

[wantmorepeace]

Suddenly in some neutral text contact with swubpd after period of NC-LC.  It's interesting to see how I'm reacting.  Contact feels good in some way but is also scary!  And I'm trying to accept that feeling instead of thinking that there's something wrong with me or that something awful is going to happen. Also need to remind myself that if/as we reconnect, I can set some boundaries for myself and handle whatever comes.

[SillyScapegoat]

It is scary trying to have a relationship with someone with bpd! I know with my mom I still have to watch what I say, but if I sense she is about to have an episode my boundary is to tell her I will speak to her when she calms down.  I usually need to walk away or hang up on her.  It feels bad to do that, but this works so well.  The key is to keep telling her you will speak again soon.  You don't want to trigger their abandonment but have to protect yourself from all the harsh words and violent behavior.

[wantmorepeace]

That is really helpful advice. I can imagine doing that.