Another Argument

[Warrior33]

My girlfriend has BPD and we are in another argument today after making up from fighting last night. My girlfriend doesn't like my mom for actually a good reason I think.I have not seen my family in about a month. I told her this morning that I was going to go see my parents and brother who I haven't seen in months. She immediately got angry and is now saying she is done with me and having to deal with me or my mom. It is a recurring argument and this isn't the first time she has said that. I texted her saying I love her and I know she is upset so I am going to give us time to calm down. I am about to get off work and go home. I need advice on how to handle the situation when I get there. Or if I should text her now before I go? Any advice helps. Thanks.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Warrior33,

It sounds like she's dysregulated, was she raging at you? There's not much that I can say, it's not a good idea to try to reason with her, I suggest to not JADE, don't justify, attack,defend or explain, she may bait you, I don't recommend arguing with her etc... You could try validation, but don't validate the invalid, you said that she has a valid reason, I don't what to tell you validate if I don't know what it is.

Don't "JADE" (justify, argue, defend, explain)

[Warrior33]

She is mad at my mom because my mom drunkenly said mean stuff about her not being good for me and saying I'm always worrying about her and not involved with the family. We finally talked about it and I told her I understand why she is angry and I would be too, but I have to see them. She said she still wants to be done with me and my mom. I told her I was going to leave because I didn't want to say anything I'd regret and she locked me out.

[Mutt]

Do you know what triangulation is? Your mom cares about you, how did it go after work yesterday?