We are divorcing soon. She says she cannot live with me.

[Depression = 72% of members]

My BPD wife left the family home without notice and took our child to a refuge. There has been ongoing proceedings in court for over a year. She alleged  false DV and went to a refuge. i was always abused by her but did not want to leave the chid wih her. i did not see my daughter for 4 months and then at a contact centre for a year. Soon i will get shared custody of my child. Now she does not want to sell the famiy home as i am still there and she says she cannot live with me. She called me out of the blue crying and says she is suffering in a refuge We are divorcing soon. What can i do.

[tyrol]

My BPD wife left the family home without notice and took our child to a refuge. There has been ongoing proceedings in court for over a year. She alleged  false DV and went to a refuge. i was always abused by her but did not want to leave the chid wih her. i did not see my daughter for 4 months and then at a contact centre for a year. Soon i will get shared custody of my child. Now she does not want to sell the famiy home as i am still there and she says she cannot live with me. She called me out of the blue crying and says she is suffering in a refuge We are divorcing soon. What can i do.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

I'm sorry for what you are going through tyrol. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. Ultimately the decision on what to do is your decision.

Things you should consider are past behavior, any boundaries that you need to enforce for yourself, can you continue to live with the behavioral issues that come with living with a pwBPD, etc.

What is the best thing for you to do? If you were to try to work things out, what is your motivation to do so? What changes do you need to make within yourself so that you can take care of yourself within the relationship?

[tyrol]

 
I think my wife wants me to move out. I cannot do that but she is welcome to come back. I am not going to chase her.  I will wait for my wife to contact me. I forgive her what what she did to our 8 year old child. She says she is suffering but the child is the victim. I still love her.