
I want to welcome you to the bpdfamily. I'm sorry for what brought you here, but I'm hopeful that now that you're here, you'll find the advice and support that you need.
I know that it's hard right now, but try not to be too hard on yourself. We all do the best that we can with what we have to work with at the moment. As a result, we all make mistakes. I'm certain that if you read the posts of others here, you'll quickly see that most of us make the same mistakes that others have. I know that I did!
You indicated that you initially left the relationship, why did you do that? What lead up to it?
I would suggest that you continue to read the posts, read the articles contained on this web site, and some of the recommended books. Educate yourself as best you can about BPD. The more you know, the easier any decision you make will be.