My husband with BPD

[Jenny mc]

Hi everyone this is my first time posting... sorry if it seems like an epic saga... .my husband of 20 years was dx with BPD 4 years ago... he was only dx because he agreed to get himself help as I was leaving our marriage ... at the time he had an Xbox addiction & a porn addiction... he got help he got easier to live with, seemed to accept full responsibility for mistakes made & all the lies & secrecy ... life improved ( he's on a lot of meds also... antidepressant & mood stabiliseisers) we had huge support from my family emotionally & very much finiancally because his treatment didn't come cheap... 2 weeks ago I found out he has been playing various games on his phone mostly clash of kings and has been spending money we don't have... ( since 2014 about €6-7 thousand euros.) we run a business together & on one of the Facebook business pages I came across a chat for his buddies in one of his games ( women & men) planing a holiday... lots of lewed talk... I was horrified.  I didn't even know he was into games as he had " left all this behind" this was going on for a least 3 years and it seems he never actually changed at all... only difference is he did it in secret... .now I have confronted him... he's gone completely nuts , can't see the problem cos he was only talking to his "buddies" he's a bit sorry over the money

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[DaddyBear77]

Hi Jenny mc and welcome! I'm glad you found us! 

What you're describing sounds really devastating. After what sounds like some good progress over 4 years, it now sounds like things are slipping backwards. I'm really sorry to hear that.

I had some hope, too, when my pwBPD was seeing a therapist and was on the verge of accepting a milder diagnosis (she refused to accept BPD). She felt the pressure, though, and left that therapist and it's been a really hard 3 years.

Please keep posting! I'd love to hear more of the story!

~DaddyBear77

[heartandwhole]

Hi Jenny mc,

I'd like to join    DaddyBear77 and welcome you to the community. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. It's really difficult to discover that your husband has been spending money and doing things in secret. I can imagine that being found out triggered some of his symptoms.

You've come to the right place for support. Members here have been in similar situations and understand. You are not alone. And there is hope for things to get better. 

How are you doing today? Have things calmed down?

Keep posting. It helps to share. We're here for you.

heartandwhole