I seem to keep going back for more after 7 years

[Feelinstronger]

I cannot believe I am back on these boards after an almost 18 month break.  My BPD ex partner/fiance decided to bail and walk out early November, for like the 8th time.  I was not shocked but nothing led up to his leaving!  We had NC for nearly 10 weeks.  This week we had a blizzard. He saw me shoveling this morning and drove by and said he would have his son come and clear my driveway-I politely declined.  He returned, with his son, they did driveway and all walkways and left.  I then receive a text telling me he did it for my dad, followed by another text that it was very irresponsible of me not to have it plowed!  SO... .what I thought was an act of kindness was followed by an insult to me.   I  Just  Dont  Get  It!  This, after he texted my daughter on New Years Eve to say he missed us.   I simply cannot wrap my head around this, yet still have trouble getting over this man who I have loved for 7 years.

[SlyQQ]

He was annoyed you initially spurned his offer, ( abandoment trigger pull )

So he couldn't help but come back and help

then got angry you tricked him. ( the push away )

nothing new to about faces.

[Turkish]

He saw me shoveling this morning and drove by and said he would have his son come and clear my driveway-I politely declined.

He passive-aggressively violated your boundaries. 

How do you think you can deal with this in the future?

[gotbushels]

I was thinking along the same lines as Turkish.

... .He saw me shoveling this morning and drove by and said he would have his son come and clear my driveway-I politely declined.  He returned, with his son, they did driveway and all walkways and left.  ... .

He disregarded your declining of his offer. But well done on keeping it polite.

[Feelinstronger]

You would think I would anticipate or understand his responses by now.  I really did not want him to do all the snow blowing as it was quite time consuming.

However if he did do me a kindness, ruining it by making a snarky remark was upsetting.

Next time?  I have no idea what to do!  Part of me is convinced there wont be a next time, however I have been wrong every time- he always returns.

Heaven knows that I still love the man, and I pray daily he eventually realizes he has issues that need to be dealt with.  I truly do not know if I am capable of leaving him behind forever.  So... .hmm... .I have issues, too.