Contact after full Silent treatment?

[Xeonrebel]

Has anyone had an experience of contact after silent treatment (or ghosting, full block on everything, cell phone, facebook, etc). if so, how long did it take to lift the silent treatment from your Ex and what was the excuse they gave you.

my experience is that i got the silent treatment for a month, until she started giving signs of life thru email, it took almost 3 months from january to march to talk to me again. i got no excuse, except that she didnt want to talk to me. this time im getting full silent treatment since july, blocked from everything except twitter (well, im blocked, but her account is unrestricted, and the last time i reached her using  2nd account she didnt block me, but she didnt contact me as well).

thanks!

[Harley Quinn]

Hi Xeonrebel,

How are you feeling about all of this and what would you ideally like to see happen?

Love and light x

[Lost-love-mind]

At first it drove me nuts , literally, that a woman professing her devotion to me to all of sudden go no contact.
I did everything wrong for the first month after the breakup e.g cyberstalking.
Don't do the 2d account to send messages. I did all sorts of apps with different numbers to text her.
It just gives the BPD control. I've read so much on the subject.
I sent her an apology email using alternates on Yahoo and she sent back a vile email.
When I told her that I still cared for her she sent back "the only reason you care is because you are a loser with no life".
Just stop any contact.let it ride and move on with your life. If she comes back... .?

[Xeonrebel]

Im feeling alright at the moment. Im starting to use her silence as advantage to me to keep disengaging. The only feeling i hate is the "hoping" for her to reach out via email or something else.
I stoped the stalking about 3 weeks ago. I deactivated my other accounts. I asked cause the st feels different than the last one. Im not sure if she triggered when i didnt reply a few tweets she sent (i hated the idea of getting crumbles when i never did that to her) and the lack of congratulations on her birthday (i was blocked anyway but im pretty sureshe doesnt see it that it was her fault to, maybe was expecting me to reach her using other ways of communication, i dont know. What has been helping me lately is the idea that ok i make a lot of mistakes, but i gave her a lot,and it seems that she is looking for someone with the same qualities as me,but good luck finding someone like me, im not saying that because im better than anybody, but im stating the obvious that finding some exactly like me minus the bad parts its impossible, and thats the thought that keepsme going.

[Mutt]

Hi Xeonrebel,

What has been helping me lately is the idea that ok i make a lot of mistakes, but i gave her a lot,and it seems that she is looking for someone with the same qualities as me,but good luck finding someone like me, im not saying that because im better than anybody, but im stating the obvious that finding some exactly like me minus the bad parts its impossible, and thats the thought that keepsme going.

I think it's good that you brought the subject up. Correct me if I'm wrong, I analyze a lot, are you thinking that eventually she will come back because she won't find someone else?

A r/s where two people give an equal amount is a reciprocal one, you said that your r/s is not reciprocal, the break up is not going to make her see that, things will be the same with her. Are you ready to be an emotional caretaker?

[Xeonrebel]

Hi mutt and thanks for the reply. I hadnt seen that way, and it explains why she isnt seeing right now. Maybe she is used to asymmetrical rs. Honestly im not expecting a recycle since this time i called her off for being abusive towards me. Last time she was the full victim (and with a good reason). But this time she had everything she wanted in this recycle, but she blew it off big time. The thing is that she is really desperate in finding a replacement instead of going back to me. The part i really hate is that her mother told me the last time i spoke with her right before starting full no contact was that she said she missed me, but didnt want to return because she was afraid (im pretty sure she was afraid of being held accountable). So i that put me on a waiting position. But im doing ok with my therapist and i dont pretending to keep waiting since not only i want to heal but this time the silence is full power (pm the first break she would write back some emails) so practically i can't predict her anymore. Besides i also retrieve 2 engagement rings i gave her (long story) thru her mother because i already had it with her Silent treatment, so.im pretty sure she is hating me even more. Oddly, apparently she missed me after retrieving those rings. Who knows, even her mother thinks she tried to keep them as long as she could so she can have some sort of link with me. Curiously She's maintining a tweeter account with our chat visible and.a pictures with her hand and the ring (one would think that she would erase everything out of spite).
Anyway, thanks for listening to me.

[Huh?]

Never heard from her again.  When we broke up before, she'd go full silent treatment until I would cave and apologize.  Our last break up after I questioned her stringing me along she immediately went silent treatment mode... .two months later I tried to initiate contact as usual... .thinking there's no way she'd let go of me after how well I treated her... .haven't heard from her over a year later.  She's always had the "my way or highway" attitude... .and I'm gone for good this time I suppose.

So yeah, I've never heard from any ex after the discard.  Does wonders for the self esteem... .

Best of luck in your situation.

[Lost-love-mind]

 :huh.
I'm glad to see hope from a person out of the fog for a year.
I apologized to mine more than 4 times and last time received vile insults.
Friends I talk with with experience with BPD (including one self admitted female BPD) that I dodged a bullet by being dumped by a BPD.
Never felt such despair and depression after being dumped.
I lost a job opportunity. Lost my self esteem. Lost ... .
Not anymore. On my way back from the abyss.

[Xeonrebel]

It's a tough fight, but everything gets better the moment you gain more self respect. Most of the tactics used after the breakup certainly is to dimish your worth. As a friend said to me, the.punishment is disproportionated to the felony. But the moment you realize that, ok, i made mistakes, huge mistakes if you want, the real worth that they are uncapable of its to have insight, try to enmend things and truly ask for forgiveness. after that one has to remember that in the end they are.probably losing more than they think. Its just that they cant see it right now. And if they ever see it ir might be to late.

[problemsolver]

Has anyone had an experience of contact after silent treatment (or ghosting, full block on everything, cell phone, facebook, etc). if so, how long did it take to lift the silent treatment from your Ex and what was the excuse they gave you.

my experience is that i got the silent treatment for a month, until she started giving signs of life thru email, it took almost 3 months from january to march to talk to me again. i got no excuse, except that she didnt want to talk to me. this time im getting full silent treatment since july, blocked from everything except twitter (well, im blocked, but her account is unrestricted, and the last time i reached her using  2nd account she didnt block me, but she didnt contact me as well).

thanks!

I don't like to give people hope , because there isn't a one size fits all when it comes to PD girls or people... I was on a full block for almost 2 months , I sent 1 Facebook message (blocked immediately) then 1 Instagram message trying to apologize (blocked immediately) ... my number and everything remained blocked for 2 months... I didn't beg, plead or chase... .I moved forward with my life , dating other girls etc etc but she remained on my mind... one day I called and it just went through and she answered... it was random to me. We spoke and then within a week I was recycled for about a month. Why did she unblock my number randomly? She was hurt by a different guy , she broke up with the replacement and was feeling down... she claims she never expected to hear from me but, she re opened the lines of communication.

I've dated 2 different BPD girls and the narrative is basically the same ... it will be up to them when they want you back... I've been told " I never want to talk to you again" only to hear from on of them a few days later... it was because something happened in their life, I don't think it had anything to do with me ... .there's no secret , when there feeling down and sad ... and your there that's when you'll most likely be recycled... but they generally have a lot of different guys in the orbit especially if she is really good looking as most with BPD tend to be... so it kind of just comes down to luck man

My best advice for you would be to delete all extra accounts or whatever your using to keep the contact alive... maybe let it be known you won't be doing those behaviors anymore then just go NC ... but not in the hopes to get her back but just to get yourself back feeling good .

[Xeonrebel]

Thanks. I already deleted those Facebook accounts. She was only trying to either hurt me or trying to do some sick triangulation. I'm not.begging anymore, maybe thats why she is so silent. My no.contact. is to leave her. Since im really tired of swimming counter current. I know what i give. If she doesnt thats her problem. If she.is going to talk back to me i dont know. On one.hand i would like to have some answers. On the other i'm afraid of those answers. So it's.better this way... i asked about the ST and engagement since i hate the feeling of waiting for a email. But that feeling is fading everyday. Thanks for wrting back.

[Lost-love-mind]

Problemsolver
Great advice.
I need to delete my exBPD from my life. All old emails, pics, instagram, etc.
I had a rough day yesterday and have a new job down the street from hers. I drove by to see her car. Another mutual friend called and told me the exBPD set up cameras on her house
Its started to drive me nuts again. Just when I thought I was getting better.
Delete it all. Don't hope for a recycle (another pending disaster?). Accept your part (clean your side of the street).
MOVEOn.
Thank you

[putevols]

Problemsolver
Great advice.
I need to delete my exBPD from my life. All old emails, pics, instagram, etc.
I had a rough day yesterday and have a new job down the street from hers. I drove by to see her car. Another mutual friend called and told me the exBPD set up cameras on her house
Its started to drive me nuts again. Just when I thought I was getting better.
Delete it all. Don't hope for a recycle (another pending disaster?). Accept your part (clean your side of the street).
MOVEOn.
Thank you

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