Is she trying to speak to me through her public page?

[Huh?]

I broke up with my nod/BPD? ex fiancé in 2016.  We were on/off for our final two years... .of a 4 year relationship.  I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt like I was being strung along.

Anyways, she cut me off from day one... .haven’t heard from her since.  I did wish her a happy birthday later in that year, which she ignored... .but that was 15 months ago.

She is the cut off type... .she would always cut me off when we were on and off... .and I would always cave because I missed her.  The longest our “breaks” had ever been were about two months.  She confessed she had dated others during that time... .possibly cheated... .which is what my gut says anyways. But I don’t know.

The thing is... .I’ve checked up on her this whole time through social media... .in these 18 months... .no indications of another relationship.  She is still doing the same things we used to do together (outdoors stuff)... but with a mysterious photographer... .just like she did during our “breaks”

I noticed she created a fb page to document her outdoor activities recently... .she posts tons of pics of herself, she looks great as always.  She posts a lot of pics I took of her over the duration of our relationship as well.

Today’s Valentine’s Day... .we never celebrated it.  Of course, I miss her.  I just got out of a rebound relationship that only last two months... .I felt nothing... .I had a couple dates over the last year and a half... .but I have no interest in anyone else.  I don’t want anyone else... .I’m stuck.

I checked her fb blog, today.  She posted the picture I took where I proposed to her yesterday... .today she posted a picture of my hand on her knee... .and wrote a ton of hashtags about “true love”... .”I’d go anywhere with you”... .etc, etc.

Did she completely disassociate me from these images... .or is she trying to speak to me through her public page?

I know I can’t heal if I look at this stuff... .but I’m not sure I want to.  Any advice is appreciated.

[pearlsw]

I broke up with my nod/BPD? ex fiancé in 2016.  We were on/off for our final two years... .of a 4 year relationship.  I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt like I was being strung along.

Did she completely disassociate me from these images... .or is she trying to speak to me through her public page?

I know I can’t heal if I look at this stuff... .but I’m not sure I want to.  Any advice is appreciated.

Hi Huh?

Sorry you are struggling with these feelings and memories! That is very painful!

You can really mess yourself up looking at such things. Is there a way you could set it up so that when you have that urge you channel it elsewhere?

wishing you peace, pearl.

[Harley Quinn]

Hi Huh,

Would you want to reconcile if you had the opportunity or do you want to feel able to let go now?

Love and light x

[Maxpax2011]

My ex has similar stuff with social media. You can't really rationalize it as you are not dealing with a rational person. Trying to make sense of it will just drive you crazy. You have to decide if you want to let go or try to reach out to her one last time. But keep in mind she may or may not respond. So it's up to you to decide.

[randomuser94]

yeah, in the end it's up to her.
She might have changed her mind about talking with you more than once until now. One second she might try to contact you and then go 180 and ignore you(since the moment she contacted you she showed vulnerability). Same goes for her feelings so you have to be prepared for both type of extreme reactions. She might talk to you and tell you something like how much he misses you and later on just plain ignore you for another week/month/year.

[Maxpax2011]

yeah, in the end it's up to her.
She might have changed her mind about talking with you more than once until now. One second she might try to contact you and then go 180 and ignore you(since the moment she contacted you she showed vulnerability). Same goes for her feelings so you have to be prepared for both type of extreme reactions. She might talk to you and tell you something like how much he misses you and later on just plain ignore you for another week/month/year.

I agree, once you detach from each other, or they split you black etc. it is a very volatile situation, their emotions go from one extreme to the other so just be aware and ready for anything, don't get your hopes up for a reunion or having consistent contact, because she may end up cutting you off again, which could you hurt you, so just go into it with no expectations, no hopes, and once you get the right mind set, make the decision you feel is right, it's easy to follow your heart, but you have to think with your head.