Hey Mountain friend, I think that you're doing the right thing by establishing a long-term plan for yourself with this relationship.
You don't need to make any decisions right yet, but you will need to pay attention to how your wife responds to couples counseling. A good rule of thumb to go by is that things need to stop getting worse before they get better.
Mutt has some good suggestions for improving communication skills. Try to read them and set a new tone in the relationship, one where you are firm but not compassionless—not afraid to do what's best for yourself. It might be a helpful idea to think about your own values and how you might set more boundaries around them for yourself. You can find some good discussion on that here:
Boundaries and Values Keep posting and vent when you need to. You're not alone in this!