Trying to recover from 10 years of interaction—I can't even be friends anymore.

[Path333]

I had been with my significant other for the most part of 10 years. She has BPD and other difficulties. We are no longer together. She is in therapy and so am I. In some ways she has gotten better over the years. She has become more skilled at manipulation and is involved with people that I have known for many years. Some of them are just realizing what she has been doing in my life and others. She has wrecked havoc in my life and my friends lives. After 6 months they are just now realizing what she has been doing. I have tried everything with her to make the relationship work over the years like couples therapy. I can't even be friends anymore. I changed my phone number recently and have no contact with her. We see each other in similiar social circles. I can no longer have any relationship with her. This has been extremely volatile and she has become very caustic. I am trying to recover from 10 years of interaction that have never changed the theme of her illness. I cannot do this with her anymore. I've had enough. It has been very difficult to stay seperated. Painful.

[Foursome]

 

Glad you found this forum.  I am sorry you are going through this and I can certainly relate as I am right there with you.

I would encourage you as others have me to read and educate yourself about these disorders.  That really helped my state of mind when I understood I was dealing with a mentally ill person.

Good well soon

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Path333, Welcome!  It sounds like you have done your best for 10 years to make things work in your r/s, without success.  How did you discover that your former SO has BPD?  At what point was that in the r/s?  It is understandable that you feel depleted and unable to have any sort of interaction with your former SO at this point.  Those w/BPD often leave destruction in their wake, as you point out.  How can we help?  Do you have any particular questions?  How long ago did the two of you part ways?

LuckyJim