Happy to find you all

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Hi everyone.
I feel so lucky to have found you all. I have been going it alone for way too long and need to get myself out of this web of psychologocal abuse. My ex-gf whom I ended the relationship with almost a year ago literally has not let go at all and has taken to suicide threats, self-harm, delusions we will get back together, stalking and various other behaviors. I am trying to extricate myself from the web of confusion and the boundaries that keep getting breached on her part. Apparently No does not mean No to her. I only recently had the moment of realization that she has BPD that at once was a very empowering discovery and a bit frightening to realize that breaking up is very challenging for her to accept. I feel she doesn’t hear my words. Thanks for all being here. I am a happy to be a part of the community and could very much use some group support.

[Warrior woman]

Hi everyone.
I feel so lucky to have found you all. I have been going it alone for way too long and need to get myself out of this web of psychologocal abuse. My ex-gf whom I ended the relationship with almost a year ago literally has not let go at all and has taken to suicide threats, self-harm, delusions we will get back together, stalking and various other behaviors. I am trying to extricate myself from the web of confusion and the boundaries that keep getting breached on her part. Apparently No does not mean No to her. I only recently had the moment of realization that she has BPD that at once was a very empowering discovery and a bit frightening to realize that breaking up is very challenging for her to accept. I feel she doesn’t hear my words. Thanks for all being here. I am a happy to be a part of the community and could very much use some group support.

[mama-wolf]

Hi Warrior woman, and welcome to bpdfamily!

Sounds like your ex is still hanging on to the relationship, but you have been working on detaching for the past year or so.  How can we support you?  Could you share a little more about your particular situation?  What keeps you two in contact these days?  How are you currently going about working through your recovery from the relationship itself?

Personally, I'm recently separated from my uBPDstbxw... .she finally signed the custody order and separation agreement, which has been filed at the courts, and I'm waiting on a signature from the judge so that things can at least be finalized for now.  In my state, I can't formally file for divorce until we have been legally separated for a full year.  Either way, I'll have to be in contact with her on some level for years to come due to having children together.

mw

[Mustbeabetterway]

Welcome Warrior woman,

We are happy you found us, too.  It sounds like you have been through a really trying time.  There are many members, myself included, who have experienced some of the same behaviors after separating from our significant others.

You mentioned boundaries.  Setting boundaries is such an inportant skill.  I am providing a link to infrmation about boundaries that may be helpful.  

Setting Boundaries and Setting Limits][url=https://bpdfamily.com/content/setting-boundaries]Setting Boundaries and Setting Limits[/url]

It helped me to think of boundaries as keeping in the things you want and keeping out things you don't want in your life. Living with healthy boundaries is a little more nuanced than that, but that's the basic premise.


We are a community that helps and supports each other.  Look at what is being posted on this board and when you feel comfortable, post on the threads of others.  It's often helpful to be a part of the conversation.

Let me ask just a few questions to get your conversation started.  How long were you together with your SO?  What were the reasons you split up?  What have you done to set boundaries?  

Again, welcome and I look forward to hearing more.

Peace and blessings,

Mustbeabetterway

[Mutt]

Hi Warrior woman,

My ex-gf whom I ended the relationship with almost a year ago literally has not let go at all and has taken to suicide threats, self-harm, delusions we will get back together, stalking and various other behaviors. I am trying to extricate myself from the web of confusion and the boundaries that keep getting breached on her part.

Wow that would be a lot to deal with, what's your support network like in real life? Do you have family and friends that you can turn to in time of need? Do you have an update for us?