My partner is driving me nuts

[Depression = 72% of members]

My daughter is getting married in a month. I have so much to do. I invite him to shop with me for a dress. He says no. As soon as I come home he nastily accuses me of cheating. Just about every time I am not home I am accused of something.  When I come home I want my partner to ask me how my day was...I never ever get that. He is violent, nasty, rude. I keep waiting for him to be nice and it never ever lasts. He does have a good side to him but it has been more rare lately. HELP

[PEACHES99]

My daughter is getting married in a month. I have so much to do. I invite him to shop with me for a dress. He says no. As soon as I come home he nastily accuses me of cheating. Just about every time I am not home I am accused of something.  When I come home I want my partner to ask me how my day was...I never ever get that. He is violent, nasty, rude. I keep waiting for him to be nice and it never ever lasts. He does have a good side to him but it has been more rare lately. HELP

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Turkish]

Hi PEACHES99,



It's certainly sad and a huge stress when you are focusing on your daughter's wedding, yet your significant other is threatened by this (normal thing) to emotionally deregulate and be abusive. You mentioned that he's violent.  How is he violent and has he been like this in the past?

I hope to hear more and how best we can help support you 

p.s. your post was moved to Bettering as the members here can provide good support while you are in your relationship and recommend tools to reduce conflict.

[GaGrl]

Persons with BPD often react negatively to situations that place attention on others -- they see it as happen if at the expense of themselves, we they then feel abandoned. Is this what might be going on with your SO?