Help. I feel like I loose no matter what.

[KuroKitty]

Hello,
I’ve been having problems with my girlfriend more recently lately. I feel as if no matter how hard I try to understand where she’s coming from.. no matter what effort I put in. She just pushes me away and blames me for never listening, but it’s all I do.. i know it’s not her fault she has these feelings.. but she doesn’t quite do anything to control it, she just blames me for making her feel those ways.. it got so bad the other day that she hit me.. and broke up with me.. but then a couple hours after the fight she said “I take it back” and expected everything to go back to normal.. I just feel like no matter what I do. It will never be good enough. Help. Any advise?

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Turkish]

How did the conversation go that resulted in she hitting you?

[KuroKitty]

She was visibly frustrated And shouting, she broke up with me and she had a bad day and instead of letting me talk to her she started packing and crying and screaming...she was trying to leave across country with no money in a broken down car that overheats.. and I told her It wasn’t a good idea.. that I didn’t want her to leave.. that I can’t let her do that...Because she was going to hurt herself or others.. and I love her too much for that to happen.. that if she really wanted to leave then I would help her fix her car with my next check and then she could leave safely.. I got close to her as she was still violently sobbing and tried to move the suitcase out of my way so I could hold her and she was shouting “don’t touch my stuff!” Over and over and I was like “I’m just moving it to the side.. so I can hold you like you ask to be held when you are upset..” and she grabbed my hair and started punching me in the head.. and I didn’t want to hurt her..she’s only like 115  pounds.. so I just kinda moved towards the bed and finally got her to let go and I pushed her off of me... hours later she was fine and said “I take it back.”

[khibomsis]

Kurokitty,   and welcome to the family! What a terrible experience, I am sorry you had to go through that.

Can you tell us more about your situation? Is your girlfriend diagnosed and/or in treatment? Is this the first time things got physically violent?

The more we know the better we can help.

 ,
Khib

[KuroKitty]

She’s been diagnosed with BPD and PTSD more recently. And they’ve also told her she has anger problems. She’s been going to therapy for about 5 months now. I brought the idea of a therapist up to her once saying it might help her go through some of the things in her head she doesn’t understand. Or just help her mood in general,because that was the experience I have had with therapy. And now 5 months later she uses it against me... saying I hate her that I want her to change that’s why I “sent her” to therapy... even though I only told her my experience with it and said maybe look into it if you want to... she pushes me away and the things I do seem to trigger her so badly..

[khibomsis]

Hey Kurokitty, how's it going? I hope you are feeling better these days?  Khib