Was here under different I.d. from 2017-2018

[juju2]

Hi. It's juju from 2017-2018.

Much has happened.

I really appreciate this site for getting me thru the horrible times.
I kept trying to make sense out of the craziness...!

What I finally seem to get is it does not make sense.   When I gave up trying to make sense, I gained perspective, freedom, breath.   I felt free.

I feel free.   Am still in the yo yo. 

Am allowing myself to be.  My fears kept being activated as I did not give myself freedom to be...i cannot explain how I got to acceptance.   I guess once you get to acceptance, I just be grateful.

Mostly I wanted to come back and say thank you.  Thank you to my everyday heros.   Juju

[PeaceMom]

Juju,
This sounds like Radical Acceptance. For those of us who don’t know you, can you give us more details to better understand your experience?
Who is your pwBPD? How did you get to this place of freedom and acceptance?

What you write about is what I’m seeking, but my DD20 keeps raging, demanding, living here, being so needy, etc.

Welcome back,
Peacemom

[juju2]

Hi peace,

Such a good question.

So pw uBPD (he is dx, it is just that he thinks he doesn't have IT) he is my s.o.   we are estranged for 3 years, previous to that--together 10 years...i left this board in 2018 in a personal horrible space mentally.  I came back yesterday to this wonderful place.   I posted in the wrong section.    There are no mistakes.   I was meant to respond to your beautiful question.

How.

So lovely.

I guess since the answer is I don't know,
I would have to share, keep moving.  Keep learning.   Breathe.   TAKE CARE of my well being.   The worse things are, or appear, that is how much personal well being I need.   My body, soul, spirit are under constant, intermittent, attack.

Any results I am able achieve, any and all results are a corollary to my being willing to reach out to another fellow traveler on this journey.
Bless you.

[PeaceMom]

Am back,
Thanks for the honestly. I love the keep moving keep learning. I’ve recently leaned that there is a mystical place called the “Land of Done” this is where I have mistakenly tried to get to. A wise T told me it doesn’t exist. It’s a journey and I won’t be there until I die so in the meantime, boundaries are my lifeline.
Peace

[juju2]

You are welcome.

Thank you for your sharing.   I never heard of that land.

Interesting.

[jaded7]

I started reading some work by Byron Katie last night, and for a few minutes I felt relief- like a confusing, dense, suffocating fog had been lifted, if only for a little bit.

She talks about accepting what is, loving what is. How it's our thoughts about a situation rather than the situation itself that cause us suffering.

Reading the transcripts of her working with a woman who 'hates' her husband, despises their life together, thinks he horrible and wishes she could leave him and everything behind was strangely illuminating to me in that I feel like my gf has painted me so black that I'll never be able to prove to her that I'm a good person, even though I know I am and I love her so much.

This woman in the dialogue came to quickly realize how much of her 'hatred' for her husband, how many of his 'faults' she despised, were actually projections of feelings she had for herself, and how in fact how she treated her husband would feel really bad if it were him.

It gave me hope- that I'm not terrible (i.e. not taking personally what she's called me) and that she might be able to free herself of these thoughts and see me for what I am, a good person who loves her.

[juju2]

Thank you Jaded.

Very interesting.

There is so much here to learn from and benefit from.   If I can get out of my own suffering.