Corona lockdown during breakup. Bad situation.

[Depression = 72% of members]

So. We broke up. Rather, she broke us up for an array of reasons that were almost exclusively imagined and pretty insulting towards me, refused any attempts at seeking out counseling etc. and ended any attempt at discussing the situation with threats of self-harm or calling child protective services on us - which considering the mess she's made of our home would probably lead to problems for me and our daughter. She's recently made a contract for a flat for herself, planned to move in april.

Now we have the lockdown in Germany. No childcare, my daughter is at home. I have to still go to work. I need to, as otherwise I won't have the money I need to deal with having to pay the full rent alone for now and paying out her part of the deposit.
She's staying at home as well. She barely makes any money, but from time to time gets a job as a designer. I can't make use of the "emergency"-rules in place for parents who can't find childcare because, on paper, the mother is around to take care of our daughter.

My daughter is extremely off balance, I get home from work and have to take her to the woods to go walking for hours so she can calm down again. After that I get harrassed by my now ex, that she does not have a minute to herself, can't work (she has a single commission right now that would take around six hours total to do) and that now she can't move out, she feels sick, etc.
At the same time she acts as if everything was totally fine and normal between us, throws "funny" anecdotes at me and asks me for advice on some trivial nonsense.

Honestly, this is getting to me. The constant complaining I started to meet with pretty unexcited suggestions on how to improve the situation, which are usually answered by aggressive posturing about how she knows what she's doing etc. but seem to, at times, be followed as long as nobody looks. So far, so good, can't expect much more. But this total ignorance of the baseline situation is getting to me. I try to play nice, but honestestly, there is a fine but important distinction between being civil due to neccessity and acting as if nothing had happened. I don't want to act as if everything is fine, it's not, I am stuck between devastated and world-ending hatred. But even scratching the subject of how I would prefer a respectful degree of distance is treated like an act of unprovoked aggression from my side. In her little fantasy-world, there is no problem unless I make one by not doing as she demands and accepting whatever she throws around. And I can't even confront her and throw her out because work, no childcare, gah. Someone shoot me or suggest some way to deal with this that does not involve gratuitous violence?

[Camael]

So. We broke up. Rather, she broke us up for an array of reasons that were almost exclusively imagined and pretty insulting towards me, refused any attempts at seeking out counseling etc. and ended any attempt at discussing the situation with threats of self-harm or calling child protective services on us - which considering the mess she's made of our home would probably lead to problems for me and our daughter. She's recently made a contract for a flat for herself, planned to move in april.

Now we have the lockdown in Germany. No childcare, my daughter is at home. I have to still go to work. I need to, as otherwise I won't have the money I need to deal with having to pay the full rent alone for now and paying out her part of the deposit.
She's staying at home as well. She barely makes any money, but from time to time gets a job as a designer. I can't make use of the "emergency"-rules in place for parents who can't find childcare because, on paper, the mother is around to take care of our daughter.

My daughter is extremely off balance, I get home from work and have to take her to the woods to go walking for hours so she can calm down again. After that I get harrassed by my now ex, that she does not have a minute to herself, can't work (she has a single commission right now that would take around six hours total to do) and that now she can't move out, she feels sick, etc.
At the same time she acts as if everything was totally fine and normal between us, throws "funny" anecdotes at me and asks me for advice on some trivial nonsense.

Honestly, this is getting to me. The constant complaining I started to meet with pretty unexcited suggestions on how to improve the situation, which are usually answered by aggressive posturing about how she knows what she's doing etc. but seem to, at times, be followed as long as nobody looks. So far, so good, can't expect much more. But this total ignorance of the baseline situation is getting to me. I try to play nice, but honestestly, there is a fine but important distinction between being civil due to neccessity and acting as if nothing had happened. I don't want to act as if everything is fine, it's not, I am stuck between devastated and world-ending hatred. But even scratching the subject of how I would prefer a respectful degree of distance is treated like an act of unprovoked aggression from my side. In her little fantasy-world, there is no problem unless I make one by not doing as she demands and accepting whatever she throws around. And I can't even confront her and throw her out because work, no childcare, gah. Someone shoot me or suggest some way to deal with this that does not involve gratuitous violence?

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