If I'm tracking with you, after your mother told your father that she wanted a divorce, and he said he was seeing a psychologist, then your mother told you that she wanted you to speak to your father?
Kind of? I already knew about the divorcing thing. I live with my parents, and I was at home with my mother when she mentioned it to me. I think she does it partially because she no longer can accept the situation, partially because she's now aware of how awful all of this has been to me.
What does she want you to talk to him about?
How I feel about the situation with my BPDfather, how it has affected me. My mother knows now about how much negative impact this whole dynamic had in my physical and mental health, so she believes that if I express my feelings, my father will take it more seriously I think? Maybe really try to change? Or at least be aware that his way of acting will no longer be accepted, wich I have talked several times with her. And putting some clear bounderies too I guess.
What would it be like to decline doing what your mother wants, and to do what you think is best instead?
I'm not sure what I want. My first reaction to conflict is usually to hide, wich doesn't really work in realy life often, and is quite impossible. I see my father every day, I live with him for the moment, and acting like nothing happens will end up making me more nervous, and will make him more nervous too. I do believe that I'll have to talk to him to be clear where we're standing now and to talk about my boundaries. So I could decline to hear her advice, but's very probably that it will come bite my in the ass, not because she might "punish me" or something, but because it's real life, where I can't avoid my problems forever.
This serves also as an update, but after reading the letter, my mother actually apologized. For not having realized what was going on and for not having protected me when I need it. Wich is a HUGUE thing for me. And funnily, told me to do whatever I wanted.
