I think you might be trying to use logic when logic has nothing to do with it. The people that we are talking about do not think they hurt you, even though they do and you can tell them that, but it won’t matter to them, because nothing is ever their fault. But they are mentally ill, and you know that, right? And you want your freedom, because you are tired of this
PLEASE READ, but you feel guilty because you love her, and it’s not really her fault that she is so sick. Such is the duality of your suffering.
I understand. I sit here and try to focus on the bad times, the splits, the rages, etc. But by nature I don’t really remember bad times in my life, I always remember the good times. Now I’m trying to get through this by remembering the bad times first. Such is the duality of the pain.
I have been successful now for almost 20 days, but if she showed up at my gate right now, I would pull her against me, hug her shoulders and her head. I would bring her upstairs and lick every square centimeter of her body and make love to her. I miss her tremendously and I hope I never see her again. Such is the duality of my heart and my head.
The moon is beautiful tonight, enjoy it, listen to some music. Try to figure out what it really means when people say love yourself, feel everything, all of it. Don’t forget to laugh at something, you can do it.
Earlier today my daughter texted me to see how I was doing, I said okay but told her the part about wanting to lick my girlfriend’s body. So she sends me a meme of a little monkey licking a guy’s face and told me to remember that the next time I feel like that. Then she blocked me, hahaha.